Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger

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It is 10:17 AM Sunday morning here in West Michigan. It has been raining off and on for days. It is also been very humid. Carol and I have been seeking to take walks a couple times a day so as to deal with my stress/anxiousness/fears. We have determined that this week we are going to seek professional help for depression and anxiety. I have to come to the realization the last six weeks that I can't cope any longer. I need help or some plan of action to deal with my fears/anxiety/depression.

I did not write here yesterday due to being too sick with fear/depression/anxiety. Right now I am writing these words feeling very sick with stress/anxiety. I suppose what triggered this episode is our family visiting us the next couple of weeks. I find the task of communication/being present among all these people 14 altogether overwhelming. I can deal with Carol and little Josie off and on throughout the week, but that is about it. I can go to the Book Nook because I know what to expect and very little is demanded of me there.

I was able this morning to find some strength/will power to go down the street to say Hi to our son Josiah and his little girl Marika. They got in from Washington State last night around 9:30 PM. Josiah had to drive in rain storms from Chicago to Holland/scary weather driving but he and Marika made it/they are staying at Caleb and Emily's.

Andy, Beth, Lou, Marn, Jack and little Nora left Denver this morning/driving here to Holland MI. They are expected to be here tomorrow evening and will be staying with us.

I will close to pray. Carol and I have been praying constantly for the Lord to grant me grace/strength to keep going.

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