sickI am still very sick, but have a doctor's appointment at 2:30 PM this afternoon. Hopefully the doctor will discover why I am feeling so sick. I rarely get sick so when I get sick it is very scary. I am not ready to die and meet my Maker (heavenly Father). I am the kind of fellow that always imagines the worse. So maybe by this evening I will be less scared.
All I have done since I last wrote is sit in my living room chair with a blanket wrapped around me. I did not lay in my bed last night due to pain in my legs, so I sat upright all night in living room chair dozing. It was a rough night of feverish dreams. I was thankful for the light of day. Carol got up this morning around 5:15 AM. She went out for breakfast this morning to meet up with a friend.
I did write in my paper diary today, but have not read anything. I have been mainly reading during this bout of sickness a novel titled, 'A Very Long Engagement' by Sebastien Japrisot.
There is not much else to report this afternoon. The death flow keeps carrying me along.
Last night I told Carol that when I was sick with an ulcer many years ago I never slept at night due to stomach pain. What I did during the night when I could not sleep is write in my paper diary. I would moan and scream in pain silently on paper. It has been maybe 20 years since I have suffered from ulcer pain. I take daily ulcer medicine, which has been a life savior for me. So right now feeling this sick the last several days has brought to my memory all those cold lonely nights in pain writing in my diary. I started getting sick with ulcer pain around 10 years old. When Carol and I got married I was always sick with an ulcer. Now I am not sick with an ulcer, but presently something is terribly wrong with me and I am praying this afternoon the doctor can tell me what is wrong with me. I want to be feeling better when Carol leaves this coming Friday for Denver CO to visit our daughter Bethany and her family. Carol will be gone for ten days and I do not want to be alone ten days feeling like I am dying. I do not want to die alone.
Well I will close to feel sick and exhausted.