It is in the death flow 8:46 PM Saturday night. I am home from having dinner with Ryan and his family. Ryan called me around 3:30 PM this afternoon and asked if Carol and I would like to come over for dinner around 6 o'clock PM. I told Ryan Carol works tonight, but I could come over around 6 o'clock PM for dinner. I accepted Ryan's invitation even though the idea of going to someone's house for dinner freaked me out. But Ryan and I have talked a couple of times and he knows I am a weird-o so I let the shit fly. I have been wondering how Ryan and his family were doing since he had not stopped by the Book Nook to chat lately. I was sick with dread but I left around 5:45 AM for his place. I left a note for Carol telling her we had been invited over to Ryan's for dinner.

So I get to Ryan's place around 5:50 PM and they were not expecting me so early. Anyway I immediately assured everything was cool with me. I do not mine their house being a mess. We have grandchildren and do not mine a house mess. But Ryan and his kids started picking things up. I can't remember Ryan's wife name or his four kids/two girls and two boys/all their names start with an O.

I basically repeated all my standard raps-I am a broken record. I really hate hearing myself repeat the same old shit time after time. But Ryan and his wife have not heard all my raps so I rambled on and on. It was all very strange, but when I am nervous I tend to talk and talk.  Some of what I said tonight I had already shared with Ryan in past conversions.

When you have lived as a Christian for almost 50 years one has a lot of stories/views/opinions to share with other professing Christians. I think I talked or we talked for close to two hours. Ryan and his wife also talked. Their four children were quiet and well behaved. They seem like a nice solid Christian family. We all have our struggles. One just keeps seeking the Lord.

I always feel more comfortable living a life of silence. A life of sharing my existence in my online diaries or now my Youtube videos. I am sure I say things that should remain private or at least unspoken. I tend to be too open about our lives Carol and I. But I am not one to keep my mouth shut even though I know I am coming off being somewhat foolish or too much information being shared. Do people really want to HEAR all about my life? My life is nothing. I am nothing. Nothing I say in the end is going to change anything. But I am sociable, so I went over to Ryan's for dinner and maybe sometime in the future there will be another time to have Christian fellowship.