It is in the ongoing rush to the grave 4:03 PM late Sunday afternoon. It is still damp and gray outside. It feels like the end of the world.
I spent all morning reading the book 'Conformed To The Image Of His Son: Reconsidering Paul's Theology Of Glory In Romans' by Haley Goranson Jacob Foreword By N.T. Wright. Now I am reading 'I Will Be Complete: A Memoir' by Glen David Gold.
It is weird knowing I can not make videos for a couple of weeks. I have been making videos for six years and now I am not allowed by unknown powers to make videos till the 4th of August. Who was the individual that cut me off from Booktube world? Who has it out for me. Strange to be targeted by unknown enemies of the State.
I do not really have anything to write. I just wanted to sit down and acknowledge my solitary existence.
Carol will be up in a couple of hours to get ready to go back to work. She is looking into working part-time next year 2019. Will I still be alive January 2019? Death is sure but still unknown.
Well I suppose I will close to drift through the darkest night.
TIME has passed since I wrote the above shit. I was reading the above memoir 'I Will Be Complete' by Glen David Gold and a series of thoughts came to my mind that I would capture on this screen/diary entry that no one will read. I was thinking about spending eternity/endless ages in Hell realizing you fucked up your life and everybody that was in your life you fucked up/your whole entire life was a fuck up because you rejected God the King of Glory. I was thinking that my dead mother is now in eternity fully realizing she had fucked up her life and those she had given birth to. It must be horrible to know in Hell how you fucked up here on earth.
- Music:UADA 'Devoid of Light'