It is 11:33 PM Tuesday night in the ongoing death flow. I am up late because Carol left for Grand Rapids in a winter storm because Emily our daughter-in-law might have their baby tonight. I did not want Carol to leave in the dead of the night in a bad winter storm, but Carol always has to be the supreme mother and now grandmother. So I am waiting for a phone call from Carol telling me she did not get in a car wreck driving to our son's place to be there in case our granddaughter Cora Leigh is born.

I might never see Carol again, but at least she died in thinking what she was doing was an act of being a super grandmother. I have told Carol if she dies first I will at her funeral tell everyone/our kids how much I sacrificed so they could have Carol/their mother on occasions/events like tonight. So here I sit waiting for Carol's phone call. Right now Emily mother's is there and so is Caleb. I told Carol before she left that when we had our three children there was no one but us. Carol's mother was not with us when we had our three children were born. Our two sons Caleb and Josiah were born near where Carol's parents lived. And Carol's mother never helped us when our sons were born. To me it all absurd, but what can I do since Carol will do what she wants to do even if to me it is reckless and especially dangerous.

So another day has gone by in this dead american world. It was a normal day I suppose. Tomorrow I have nothing to do but maybe plan Carol's funeral.

I suppose I will close to wait for Carol's phone call. If she does not call me soon I can assume she is dead.