Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger

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a book rant

Book Lady:
Hello again! Sorry what I wrote distressed you. I thought you were a pastor at one time. I've got to admit, those thick books intimidate me. I think it is cool enough that I got all the way through the Bible. I have consulted commentaries occasionally, but would I read through the books? Well, sorry... probably not because I'm just not that intellectual, I guess.

And as for having all those books in my library, I will tell you, I'm probably never going to be able to buy things like that. I'm living on a very low income. I've never owned my own home. I live in a very inexpensive senior housing apartment. I don't buy big books. Well, I bought Strongs, and that's the biggest one I've got.

I went without a car for three and one-half years until last January. I live two and a half miles from the store, and really suffered just trying to get to the store and back because I had no car. Now I'm forced to work hard doing freelance projects just to pay my bills.

I'm not like you... I've been a Christian only four years. I had a difficult life with men who abused me and now I have no husband to help me. I really love that you and your wife have been Christians so long and together so long - that's awesome, and a powerful testimony to the way Christ's presence in your life has blessed you. But my life isn't like that. My life has been a wreck and I didn't find Jesus until after I'd totally given up on everything else.

I have no new car I'm spending money on ... more like one 12 year old car my mom gave me in January three weeks before she died, because she wasn't going to need it anymore.

So buying a lot of big books isn't in my budget or in my future. My main goal for the next year is to read books I already own, because I can't afford to buy more right now. Personally, I'm amazed at how many books you own. I used to have a large number of books - not that many, but still, a lot. I had to give 95% of my books to our library's book sale four years ago before I left California, so that I could get away from a man who was abusing me.

So that's my life... and forgive me if I read a silly novel instead of something theological. I'll still read my Bible every morning. Peace?

Jonny Keen:

After reading your life story I can now see where you are coming from. I am known to over react. I should know ALL the facts before I go ranting and raving. I suppose I have a deep wound that has never healed. I wanted to be a gospel minister and for unknown reasons it never came to pass. But at the same time being a minister is a divine calling and filled with responsibilities that I could have never fulfilled. I am a wreck. But the Lord keeps me going. Thanks for sharing your life story. If I came off too intense forgive me. I tend to take everything as a attack on me personally. I am damaged goods. I suffer from a poor self image-insecurity-that is why I live the way I do. Thank you for being patient with me and let's continue to be friends-spiritual fellowship-blessings

Book Lady:
Of course, forgiveness is everything sometimes! I do understand how it feels to train for a career and then never get to do what you intended or expected with that training. I trained for two careers ... and I guess I did use that information - just not in the way I expected. Life is strange that way.

Jonny Keen:
Here is an old diary entry from my online diary Crookedfingers about my life that you might find interesting-

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  • filled with the Spirit

    It is 1:35 PM Monday afternoon. Why do I always record the time when I start to write a online diary entry? It is a habit. I am constantly aware of…

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