sickI do not know if I can go to bed in my present state. I am beyond tired. I did not take any sleep aids when I went to bed last night, because I wanted to be awake when Carol got up to get ready to leave. So here I sit once again writing words to no one. Hardly anyone any more is in LiveJournal and I doubt if anyone reads my online diaries. It is OK since I am insane.
So it is a new day. I have no plans for the day but wait for Carol to call me and tell me she landed safely in Seattle Washington this afternoon. I am always waiting for one of us to get killed off. I am such a positive individual! I amazed myself on how joyful I am as a Christian in a world going up in flames.
Yesterday I started reading a book titled, 'Between The Woods And The Water On Foot to Constantinople: The Middle Danube to the Iron Gate' travel memoir by Patrick Leigh Fermor.
Yesterday I read, wandered the house, watched the birds, and messed with our main computer till Carol got up. It amazes how quickly our lives are going by! We are here only for a moment and then eternity either in Heaven or Hell. Eternity apart from God scares me. I fear God. I fear going to hell forever and ever/endless torment. There is no rest for the wicked. I see more and more how sinful I am and can only pray to the Lord to forgive me of my sins.
Well I suppose I will close to wait for the final verdict. There is no where to go to escape the presence of a holy God.
"[31] It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
[32] But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions;
[33] Partly, whilst ye were made a gazingstock both by reproaches and afflictions; and partly, whilst ye became companions of them that were so used.
[34] For ye had compassion of me in my bonds, and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance.
[35] Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.
[36] For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.
[37] For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry.
[38] Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.
[39] But we are not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul." Hebrews 10:31-39
