Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger

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old diary stuff February 11, 2005

at the top of the mountain of death[ edit | delete ] February 11, 2005 | At: 2:54 PM | Permalink bookmark| Tags: uncategorized I am home from work. Right now my computer tells me the time is 5:22 PM. I got out of work at 4 o'clock PM today. When I got home from work I found Carol sleeping and Rudy waiting for me. I cleaned up and put away what I wrote at work today during my 30 minute lunch break. I am glad it is a Friday since I feel like crap. I think I am getting overly tired. What else can be the cause of my horrible mood? I hope I am not becoming a sour old man. I want to be a kind gentle old man who shines the glory light of Christ. "Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord." 2 Corinth. 3:17,18 I had a horrible day at work since I am feeling so down-depressed-tired-sour-but the Lord got me to the end of another work week-number 586 or is this work week 587? Anyway it is the end of another week of toil and I have two days to seek healing from the hand of God. I need the healing touch of the Lord Jesus. Carol works this weekend so I will spend my days in solitude. At work today I wrote these words on the piece of paper I keep in my back pants pocket---you climb the mountain of death and when you reach the top you scream in despair and then climb down. I also made a note to myself to maybe finish reading T.C. Boyle's novel "Drop City" this weekend. I need something easy to read right now since I feel like cow dung. I do not know what I will do tonight? I need to go downtown and pick up a CD order-might while I am downtown get a mocha to celebrate finishing another week of work? At work today I noticed my mind going back deep into my past-my life before I left California-the days when I was young living in Richmond Calif. when I was in love with Tykie-who was the fellow back then? I was in my early 20's when I was in love with Tykie-now I am 52 years old-this coming May Carol and I will celebrate 26 years of marriage-our oldest son is 24 years old. Where does time go? At work today I was trying to remember how many times I got spaced on LSD? I must have taken LSD at least 30 to 40 times when I was a young man. I smoked a ton of weed when I was young. Did all those drugs change my personality? Did the drug LSD change my vision of life in this dead american world? Personally I believe right now I have a biblical world and life view of Reality. I am right now totally God conscious. I live each moment of existence in the light of the approaching destruction of the world system-our days our numbered so I must be certain I am ready to face the Judge Jesus Christ. Well I am tired-I will close to rest-listen to music-wait for the end.

Music: Matt Sweeney & Bonnie 'Prince' Billy "Superwolf".

from glorycloud :
dear mushroom Read these entries on my experiences with mushrooms and LSD Entries containing the phrase "mushrooms": February 8th, 2004: Hundred Facts About Myself May 29th, 2005: an old diary entry "Hundred Facts About Myself" October 14th, 2005: mystical revelations in the desert January 1st, 2006: 100 facts about me February 4th, 2006: a review of the book "High Priest" by Timothy Leary November 23rd, 2006: bury me in a plain pine box January 7th, 2007: Stone`s Diaries January 28th, 2007: read the Bible and pray January 31st, 2007: the Land of Dorthy April 14th, 2007: written April 14, 2001 LiveJournal May 22nd, 2007: Subject: Tagged!!! August 2nd, 2007: For your soul will fly to safety August 14th, 2007: do not resuscitate is written on my chest August 19th, 2007: the birth of the Blues December 18th, 2007: House of Love December 28th, 2007: one more time with gusto March 27th, 2008: on the lam with Ken Kesey September 1st, 2008: old diary entry Entries containing the phrase "LSD": January 4th, 2004: a memory January 10th, 2004: listening to Teenage Fanclub as I go down the road of death January 10th, 2004: so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze January 18th, 2004: notice in the photo the poster of the LSD bus Further February 8th, 2004: Hundred Facts About Myself February 14th, 2004: the institutionalization of selfishness April 8th, 2004: sometimes I feel like a motherless child April 17th, 2004: walking down the saw dust trail August 24th, 2004: lysergic acid diethylamide November 6th, 2004: where has the time gone? January 7th, 2005: Allen Ginsberg Collection February 10th, 2005: hi my name is Death I love Life February 11th, 2005: at the top of the mountain of death May 8th, 2005: walking down the saw dust trail May 29th, 2005: an old diary entry "Hundred Facts About Myself" July 15th, 2005: the psychedelic experience July 16th, 2005: Young Man Blues July 25th, 2005: to develop a more cosmic awareness July 27th, 2005: do drugs have religious import? July 30th, 2005: the psychedelic theater of life July 31st, 2005: life becomes the task of keeping going what is already in motion July 31st, 2005: born to be wild September 23rd, 2005: A A U W used book sale September 29th, 2005: watching the egg factory clock your life oozing out like egg yoke out of a cracked egg universe October 1st, 2005: this fear is due to the incompatibility between man`s egotism and the divine purity December 16th, 2005: her kisses were so sweet January 1st, 2006: 100 facts about me January 8th, 2006: Nearly 100, LSD's Father Ponders His Problem Child January 11th, 2006: Matt. 10.22 "He that shall persevere unto the end, he shall be saved" February 4th, 2006: a review of the book "High Priest" by Timothy Leary April 27th, 2006: her kisses were so sweet July 5th, 2006: The Myth of Sisyphus July 15th, 2006: the intellectual history of the 1960`s July 23rd, 2006: the infinite horizons of the mind November 12th, 2006: Jonny Ray reading a book on LSD November 22nd, 2006: an old rerun November 23rd, 2006: bury me in a plain pine box December 7th, 2006: a flash back December 23rd, 2006: I was found of thee January 29th, 2007: Sisyphus made the Gods angry January 31st, 2007: the Land of Dorthy January 31st, 2007: Acid Head March 4th, 2007: born to run March 6th, 2007: frequently repeated prayers of the Egyptians monks who offered them like arrows darting toward heaven April 14th, 2007: written April 14, 2001 LiveJournal May 22nd, 2007: Subject: Tagged!!! June 10th, 2007: LSD July 8th, 2007: King of LSD July 8th, 2007: Notes from the Psychedelic Underground July 10th, 2007: why do anything? August 7th, 2007: America`s first king of the road August 10th, 2007: recent books added to my LibraryThing August 14th, 2007: do not resuscitate is written on my chest August 19th, 2007: the birth of the Blues November 22nd, 2007: an old Time Line entry from 11/06/04 December 18th, 2007: House of Love December 27th, 2007: the old time revival hour December 28th, 2007: one more time with gusto December 31st, 2007: an old journal entry written on January 6, 2002 January 19th, 2008: why I believe there is a God February 9th, 2008: old journal entries on the doctrine of God March 27th, 2008: on the lam with Ken Kesey April 29th, 2008: they will hear My voice May 9th, 2008: flashbacks May 18th, 2008: times keeps going by June 8th, 2008: written on May 4, 2003 July 13th, 2008: a life of constant prayer August 20th, 2008: my mother had false teeth August 31st, 2008: I never wanted to be fake or plastic September 1st, 2008: old diary entry September 22nd, 2008: everything is mysterious October 2nd, 2008: a history of prayer October 13th, 2008: the primordial account of the fall of humanity.

from bathtubmary :
email me at bathtubmarygirl dot gmail dot com and i'll send you the pw.

from seattle-rain :
Ignorance is bliss, I suppose!

from astralounge :
Thanks for weighing in with your opinion. But I think you meant to say my dad is "right," not "write." I'm not going to waste time worrying about what you think of me. You don't know me. If my writing bores you, don't read it. Simple as that.

from glorycloud :
abhoredbygodreprobate here is a list of my Interests from my LJ blog-people tend to put evangelical Christians in a box--- Interests of a normal Bible believing Christian 19th cent. american literature, allen ginsberg, american church history, american transcendentalism, aphex twin, apophatic theology, arab strap, art, arthur rimbaud, atlas sound, bardo pond, bauhaus, black dice, black rebel motorcycle club, blonde redhead, bob dylan, books, bookstores, boris, buffalo tom, built to spill, calla, calvinism, castanets, charles bukowski, chris whitley, christian mysticism, christian spirituality, church history, constantines, cormac mccarthy, covenant theology, crooked fingers, cruciform love, dandy warhols, david bowie, deerhunter, denis johnson, dionysius the areopagite, dreaming, elliott smith, emile zola, emily dickinson, emptiness, eschatology, eternal life, ezra pound, frank black, fyodor dostoyevsky, galaxie 500, growing old, guided by voices, gustave flaubert, heaven, hell, henry james, henry miller, holiness, jack kerouac, james joyce, john calvin, john of the cross, john ruusbroec, jonathan edwards, joseph arthur, kazuo ishiguro, larry brown, libraries, life, literature, lou barlow, love making, low, lucinda williams, luna, marcel proust, marriage, mars volta, matthew sweet, meshuggah, michael gira, monks, music, my morning jacket, mystery, native americans, new birth, new covenant theology, new testament, new testament theology, nick cave, nietzsche, old testament theology, oneida, pain, paul weller, pauline theology, pavement, pearl jam, pentecostalism, peter murphy, postmoderism, primal scream, pulp, puritan theology, reading, reformed theology, richard russo, sebadoh, silence, simplicity, sleater-kinney, sonic youth, spiritual ecstasy, stereophonics, steve wynn, superchunk, t. coraghessan boyle, teresa of avila, the 60's, the afghan whigs, the angels of light, the beats, the bible, the black angels, the black heart procession, the blue nile, the cloud of unknowing, the contemplative life, the lord jesus christ, the old testament, the swans, the twilight singers, thievery corporation, thomas merton, tom waits, uncle tupelo, vampires, van morrison, will oldham, william burroughs, william carlos williams, william t. vollmann, work, writing, xiu xiu, yo la tengo, yukio mishima.

from glorycloud :
abhorself more information about me a lover of the Lord Jesus Christ--- My favorite music: The Swans comments: clinic, doves, flaming lips, pavement, pedro the lion, the shins, south, blur, supergrass, the lucksmiths, the walkmen Woven Hand comments: interpol, wilco, son ambulance, beck, neil halstead, nick drake, paul westerberg, portastatic, the books, the angels of light, the stills, pearl jam Built To Spill comments: the faint, mayday, cursive, the bevis frond, elf power, luna, tindersticks, the cash brothers, the stratford 4, calla Grandaddy comments: parts & labor, portishead, autechre, boards of canada, aphex twin, mojave 3, arab strap, placebo, the pixies, yo la tengo, matthew sweet, the verve, soledad brothers Starflyer 59 comments: liars, sleater-kinney, sparta, modest mouse, beth orton, the american analog set, cat power, eels, deerhoof, spoon, hot snakes My favorite movies: Romeo Is Bleeding comments: Gary Oldman is great is this film-Oldman is one of my favorite actors Fearless comments: I think this is one of Jeff Bridges best films Cinderfella comments: Jerry Lewis is one of the greatest comic actors of all time Platoon comments: Willem Dafoe is one of the best character actors around today Born On The Fourth of July comments: Willem Dafoe is great in this movie My favorite authors: Thomas Manton The Cloud of Unknowing Richard Baxter St. John of the Cross Jack Kerouac.

from glorycloud :
abhor thanks for the note-my son knows my interests in books-just because I am a Christian does not mean I can love Art or literature--- My name is Jonny and I am married. I have been married 29 years to Carol (she is a night Rapid Response nurse at a local community hospital). We have three grown children Beth, Josiah and Caleb. I am a Christian. I collect books and CD's for a hobby. I love words. My Interests: books, music, writing, Christian Spirituality, theology, Calvinism, biblical theology, Old Testament, New Testament, the Lord Jesus Christ, The Fall, the Beats, Jack Kerouac, nature, hell, heaven, death, existence, bookstores, the contemplative life, silence, monks, old age, marriage, English Puritanism, Puritan Theology, The Twilight Singers, New Covenant Theology, Pedro the Lion, Pauline Theology, the Afghan Whigs, The Swans, Luna, Pavement, Guided by Voices, Built to Spill, St. John of the Cross, prayer, The Cloud of Unknowing, Crooked Fingers, Superchunk, Tom Waits, Thomas Merton, Wolf Eyes, love, time, Supergrass, the Pixies, work, history, Morphine, hermeneutics, the history of biblical interpretation, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Post-Modernism.

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