Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger

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a totalitarian worldview in which everything can be explained is theoretically at least impossible

It is 6:41 AM Saturday morning. I got up around 6:04 AM because I was coming to an end of a dream. In this dream I remember skiing down a mountain covered with snow and trees. I remember skiing down this mountain along ski trails. I was going fast along these ski snow trails, but I was lost. I could find my way to the end. I kept skiing hoping I was come to the end, but I kept skiing feeling lost. Next in the dream I come to a house or cabin in the woods. A snow trail lead right up to the front door. I go inside the cabin and find a woman with a baby. The woman is not surprised in seeing me and she builds a fire to keep us warm. The woman leaves the room and I walk over and look at the baby. The baby smiles and the woman comes back and tells me there is a place near by we can go to for a meal.

Next in the dream people are waiting for the world to come to an end. In the dream there is this wave of fire light coming over the horizon and as the fire light goes over people they disappear (burn up?). In the dream I find myself in a large wooden building with people. We are all waiting for the fire wave light to come over us. We all know this is the end of our lives. Next I see a group of people a choir and they invite us to come with them to a room where they are going to sing Psalms. It is special occasion for the choir to sing to people. As the choir begins to sing a Psalm I wake up.

I remember most being lost on that snow cover mountain skiing and not knowing when it would end. On and on I skied not knowing where I was lost. I am always telling my wife "I do not know what is going on". To me everything is a mystery. I do not know what is going on in America. All I know is to sit tight and pray. I am waiting for my time on earth to be over. I am praying for final salvation. I want to be with the Lord when I die. I do not want to go to hell. I know when my physical self (my body) dies my spirit/soul will live forever. I want my spirit to be with God in the New Creation.

I tell myself every day now is the day to prepare myself for death. All around me I see mystery and madness. I do not understand how people can find enjoyment in this world filled with human suffering/misery/injustice/hate etc. . .? How can I put on a happy face with millions and millions are suffering beyond what I can imagine. My wife tells me we must find each day a pocket of joy if we are not to succumb to despair. Like I wrote it is all beyond me. What I do is stay home and wait it out. I am thankful for this home and my family as I drift through existence. I am thankful for the Bible and my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. I close with these words from Second Thessalonians-

"[13] But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you, brethren beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth:
[14] Whereunto he called you by our gospel, to the obtaining of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.
[15] Therefore, brethren, stand fast, and hold the traditions which ye have been taught, whether by word, or our epistle.
[16] Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace,
[17] Comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work." 2 Thess. 2:13-17

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