• Mood: contemplative
• Music: Bob Mould 'Silver Age'

old photo January 2008 and recent photo of me January 2016

I find it scary how fast I am aging these days! David Bowie at the age of 69 and I will be 69 years old in five years (if I live that long). It seems just yesterday when I was a young man and now I am old. Where has the fire of youth gone? Inside these days I feel nothing. I find it puzzling that I feel nothing these days. I use to feel all kinds of emotions when I was young. These days I feel old and empty. Weird. I can not find any reason or cause for this state of emptiness. If I feel anything it is sadness. A persisted feeling of melancholy. I keep waiting for a fire to break out inside of me. A revival of youth. A feeling of deep intense passion for life to spring forth from deep inside of me,

I count my blessings each day in spite of feeling lifeless. I have much to be thankful for in my old age.





old diary entry January 2008
http://crookedfingers.livejournal.com/1819515.html