I had a super quiet day today. I love quiet days. As I look over my life I can see that what tension that has come into my life has been caused by having to be with people or someone. The only person I really feel comfortable with totally is my wife. I know even though my wife and I are different she accepts me for who I am. I am not afraid to be myself with my wife. I do not have to be afraid my wife will reject me. In the past I can see I forced myself to be with people even though inside I was feeling insecure-freaked-waiting to be attacked-defensive etc. . . I think this reality about myself is one of the reasons I was never ordained to be a Gospel Minister. I am not a social animal. I am very shy and hypersensitive. I can see a certain pattern of behavior throughout my life from childhood to now being an old man. In the past I forced myself to be with someone out of not wanting to be alone/wanting love/sex/company down inside a black hole of despair. With my wife all the walls that I surrounded myself with have come down and with my wife I feel united totally physically and spiritually. My wife and I are one flesh. The Lord has used my wife to channel rich blessings into my life here on this old creation/earth. I have experienced the love of God with my wife over the many years we have been married.
Today I finished reading the novel "Amy and Isabelle" by Elizabeth Strout. I have been thinking of doing a book review of the novel in my YouTube channel. The problem is that I am not good at reviewing a novel that I have read. I thought of writing on something and then reading it on a video. I do not know. Maybe it is not such a big deal doing a book review.
I see the novel "Amy and Isabelle" by Strout as a morality play. What I mean is that what is played out in the novel is the struggle between good and evil in a small town called Shirley Falls. I could write pages on this topic, but why when no one will read what I write here. It would be a waste of time and energy to expand these reflections about the struggle of good and evil taking place in this novel.
In the mail this afternoon I received a used book/novel I had ordered titled, "Monkey's Uncle" a novel by Jenny Diski.
I got a phone call from a volunteer from the Herrick District Public Library this afternoon asking me if I could cover for her from 10 AM till 1 PM, I said Sure. So tomorrow I will go to the library book nook to help people with their used materials and maybe I find some good used books to bring home to add to our library. I already have several used books set aside at the book nook to bring home if I do not see anything else to bring home.
Well I suppose I will close to read and listen to my CD's. Existence keeps speeding by!
old diary entry no shadow of death there
" And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." Genesis 2:21-25