Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger

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the center of which has been abandoned by the ego

It is in the flow 6:50 AM Monday morning. I got up around 6:15 AM. I got up because I heard Rudy wanting to go outside to go to the bathroom. So I got up let him out the front door. It is suppose to be a sunny day today. I plan to mow our lawn today and put away the hoses. There is no need any longer to water plant growth, so I will put away the water hoses for another year. The seasons go by so quickly as you get older.

Yesterday I got a hair cut and my beard trimmed around 11 o'clock AM. I was home from Great Clips around 11:15 AM. My wife got home from church around 11:45 AM. We had lunch and the day slowly went by. Carol went to bed around 3 o'clock PM since she had to work one more shift before being off 27 days. She leaves tomorrow for Arizona. I spent the afternoon wandering the house and reading from these two books-

"Anti-Odeipus Capitalism and Schizophrenia" by Gilles Deleuze and Felix Guattari

"Stories In An Almost Classical Mode" by Harold Brodkey

Carol got up around 6 o'clock PM. She left for work around 7:50 PM. I spent the evening messing with our main computer and reading, "Stories In An Almost Classical Mode" by Harold Brodkey. I read late into the night and now it is another day to see what happens.

These days I am basically waiting for my wife to leave for the Southwest. I am wondering how I will do being alone for 17 days. I am not sure what I will do. I took out money out of my Edwards Jones account in case I decide to go places while my wife is far away. I might visit different independent bookstores while my wife is gone. I might go for long walks at different parks along Lake Michigan/take pictures of the Lake. I might go out for dinner someplace nice and romantic. I might also just stay home and wait for it to be over. I never know how I will react to certain things since I have discovered over the years there places deep within us that we are not conscious of/dark places where pain and chaos can spring/irrupt up and take us for a journey into the unknown.

I always have here at home/my cell books, music and solitude to protect me from the surrounding chaos/here I can seek the Lord in a contemplative state/read the Bible and sit in silence/shut down the house and wait for the Light to appear.

Well I will close to makes a fresh pot of coffee and write in my paper diary. There is no way of escape.

"[17] For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
[18] While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal." Second Corinthians 4:17,18

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