Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger

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delayed continuous communication with immediate redeparture

It is in the death flow 10:16 AM Sunday morning/the Christian day of rest. My wife just left for a house of worship. I am trying to come to terms with this day. Right now I feel like going down in the lower level and laying down in the dark.

I am extremely uncomfortable about my wife leaving this Tuesday morning for Phoenix, Arizona. She is leaving to be with our daughter who is going to have their second baby this week. I might feel better when I know Carol is gone and I will have to deal with it. Right now I am in a waiting pattern and want it over so I can adjust to being alone for 17 whole days.

This morning we got up around 7 o'clock AM. Once again I slept poorly due to weird dreams and never getting comfortable.

music Jefre Cantu-Ledesma 'Love Is A Stream'

I made oatmeal for breakfast and a pot of fresh coffee. After breakfast I basically wandered the house. I did take a hot shower in hopes I would feel reborn/washed anew by the Holy Spirit the sanctifying activity of the Spirit. I fed the birds and did a load of wash. Sometimes a clean body and clean clothes makes me feel better inside. Now if all of reality was clean like the holiness of God then maybe I would feel like a glorified man/resurrected from the dead.

Last night I did nothing but sit in the dark till we went to bed around 9:30 PM. I have next to me this morning to read when I am able, "Anti-Oedipus Capitalism and Schizophrenia" by Gilles Deleuze and Felix Guattari. I ordered today volume two of "Anti-Oedipus" titled, "A Thousand Plateaus" by Gilles Deleuze.

I also ordered these books-

"Memoirs of My Nervous Illness" by Daniel Paul Schreber

"Larceny in Blood: A Memoir of Heroin, Handcuffs, and Higher Education" by Matthew Parker

"Penelope Fitzgerald: A Life" by Hermione Lee

Well, I do not know what else to write in my wasted state so I will close. I might go get myself a hair cut this morning. I will get my hair cut and my big bushy beard trimmed so as to enter into a state of mourning.

"[39] All flesh is not the same flesh: but there is one kind of flesh of men, another flesh of beasts, another of fishes, and another of birds.
[40] There are also celestial bodies, and bodies terrestrial: but the glory of the celestial is one, and the glory of the terrestrial is another.
[41] There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars: for one star differeth from another star in glory.
[42] So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption:
[43] It is sown in dishonour; it is raised in glory: it is sown in weakness; it is raised in power:
[44] It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body.
[45] And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit.
[46] Howbeit that was not first which is spiritual, but that which is natural; and afterward that which is spiritual.
[47] The first man is of the earth, earthy: the second man is the Lord from heaven.
[48] As is the earthy, such are they also that are earthy: and as is the heavenly, such are they also that are heavenly.
[49] And as we have borne the image of the earthy, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly.
[50] Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit incorruption.
[51] Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,
[52] In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.
[53] For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality." First Corinthians 15:39-53

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