Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger

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death is a letter that was never sent

It is in the heat flow 4:17 PM Saturday afternoon. Outside it is 81 degrees and dry. I keep expecting a fire to break out in our neighborhood. I wish it would rain so as to cut down the risk of a wild fire. I hate to see our home burned down to the ground. I know one day the earth will be set on fire, but please not this little cell in the Wasteland.

I had a normal time at the library book nook (used books store ) this morning. I sold only eight dollars of used materials.

While at the book nook a young girl came in named Megan. Megan came in the store to get two used books I said I had that she needed/long story. I told Megan the best way to find used books is to visit used bookstores and thrift stores. I do not know why Megan did not go on searching herself for the books she was looking for.

Megan and I talked for awhile and then she left. I feel sorry for young people these days, because there is so little to look forward to. You go to college and when you are done you are in massive debt the rest of your life. The American Dream is now buried and no longer a reality. So why go on in America when you will never have anything but debt? I suppose you keep going because you have to keep going. It is all totally insane, but American society is insane. Every day we read in the News insane Americans killing someone or a crowd of people. Americans now walk around waiting to be gunned down by some insane person. You go to see a movie and a mad person is ready to kill you. You go to church to worship God and someone is there ready to kill you. You sit on your porch and someone drives by your house and shoots you. It is all insane!

This afternoon our son Josiah called to talk to his mother. He wanted to talk to his mother to find out what she wants to do when she is visiting them (Joe and Hannah) next week in the state of Washington. I told Joe is mother was sleeping and would not be up for another couple of hours.

I have been wandering the house feeling sick inside. I am still recovering from having my gallbladder torn out of me Tuesday morning. My body is racked with pain. I have holes all over my body where I was cut open. I have been praying for healing all this week.

I have been reading from these books this afternoon when not in pain.

“I Greet You At The Beginning Of A Great Career: The Selected Correspondence Of Lawrence Ferlinghetti And Allen Ginsberg 1955-1997″ Edited By Bill Morgan

“The Letters Of Allen Ginsberg” Edited by Bill Morgan

“Jack Kerouac And Allen Ginsberg: The Letters” Edited By Bill Morgan And David Stanford

“The Selected Letters of Allen Ginsberg and Gary Snyder” Edited by Bill Morgan

So existence goes by. Carol goes back to work tonight. I will lay low waiting for healing tonight. Tomorrow is a Sunday, the last Sunday of July 2015.


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