Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger

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keeping a diary

It is in the flow Eastern Time 10:08 AM Thursday. It is a cold gray day here in West Michigan. Where did Spring go? But really this type of weather we are having today is normal for Michigan this time of year. It stays cold here till the end of May. Spring is short here in Michigan. We are going to have Tulip Time the first week of May and it is always cold and wet. Maybe by Tulip Time we will see tulips.

I got up this morning around 6:30 AM. I got up made coffee and oatmeal. I messed with our main computer and then wrote in my paper diary. Carol got home from work around 8:50 AM and has gone to bed for the day. She is off the next four nights. Carol is still suffering from a bad cold. I am thankful I am not sick with a cold. I rarely get sick.

This afternoon my friend Tim wants to go out for lunch.

The day will go by. I have nothing pressing on my mind to write down. I thought I would write about how I got into keeping a diary, but now that topic bores me.

This morning I have been looking at one of the used books I bought yesterday titled, "A Diary Of The Century" by Edward Robb Ellis. Ellis kept a diary from 1927 to 1995. I have diaries from 1978 till May 16, 2015. When I left California in 1978 to attend Reformed Bible College MI. I destroyed my diaries from 1968 till 1977. Now I am not sure if I destroyed actual diaries or writings from High School till the year 1977. I do not remember if I wrote all the time during those years. I can't remember the years from 1968 till 1977 clearly. I do remember writing but was I always writing in diary form. I do not remember. I do remember writing in diary form in 1977 because I have my 1978 diary still. One would assume if I have a 1978 diary that there was at one time a 1977 diary. Was there a 1976 diary? A 1975 diary? I am not sure. The years 1968 to 1978 were years of being homeless/not having a permanent place to sit down and write down my thoughts/life. I do wish though I had all my writings from 1968 to 1977 in my possession. I like sometimes to sit down and read what I wrote when I was a young man.

I do have to confess that I do not think I really wrote down my deepest self till I was in my 30's. It took me a long time to feel comfortable writing down my real self and not just my brain/intellectual/spiritual self. It me years to accept my Self voice/it is scary being confronted with who you really are inside as a Christian/a man.

To really write deeply one needs to slow down and meditate. For many years I was rushing around and around outside and inside. One has to sit still and listen and then record. I was too busy for years mentally to hear my deepest self voice/heart voice. It taken years to for me accept who I am in the Lord Jesus Christ. I am saved by free grace.

So the morning goes by. I suppose I will close to wait it out. No one of escape. Trapped.

Time Line
1970 graduated from John F. Kennedy High Richmond Calif. (the Lord saved me or began the process of saving me the Summer of 1970)
1971 attended Contra Costa Jr. College San Pablo Calif.
1972 attended Mackinac Island Liberal Arts College Mackinac Island Mich.
1973 I think around this Time I was living in different Christian communes in Northern Calif. Around this Time I met Tykie and fell in love for the first time. I think it was towards the end of 1973 I joined the staff of the Richmond Rescue Mission, Richmond Calif. and became a Calvinist (?)
1976 I think it was around this Time I left the Richmond Rescue Mission and was having a love affair with Sandy
1978 I left Richmond Calif. to attend Reformed Bible College, Grand Rapids Mich. [have diaries from 1978 till October 15, 2010 in my cell]

I do remember writing a lot 1972 Mackinac Island Liberals Art College, Mackinac Island MI. But I left Mackinac Island during Winter break and did not return for a second semester. I was living in a Christian commune the second half of 1972. My memory becomes blurry from 1972 to 1977.

I do remember storing my writings in different locations, but was I writing during those times when my writings were in different places? I do not remember. I do remember writing but not sure if it was always in diary form. Sometimes I wrote stuff down when I was stoned. I would write while high or off in the woods by myself high/floating in dreamland/stoneland. I would write down my times with my girlfriends. When I was not with my girlfriends I was often by myself or working/being on Staff at the Richmond Rescue Mission Richmond Calif.. I do remember being alone a lot and either reading books or writing down my thoughts. I do not know if what I wrote was like keeping a day to day diary.

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