I have been reading this afternoon “Almanac Of The Dead” a novel by Leslie Marmon Silko. I did not take a nap this afternoon. I am sure I will go to bed early tonight since there is nothing on TV worth watching. Of course I could watch a TV show on our Amazon Prime station.
There is nothing pressing on my mind tonight. I do feel slightly depressed inside, but nothing major. I sometimes hate my Self, which I think is normal. We all I think get sick of living with ourselves. It is a blessing when you totally forget yourself. When you get lost in something like God or love.
Today I was looking back into my Past my days when I was young. Back in those days I had no true understanding of what life was all about. I suppose wisdom or enlightenment comes with age. Now I am 62 years old I look back when I was young and shake my head in disbelief on how blind I was or just plain dumb. I was a prisoner to my flesh/lusts. My lusts blinded me to what was real. I was too caught up satisfying my fleshy desires to really come to terms with reality. I was just a slave to my lusts and not a slave to godly love/Truth. I did not want to look Reality in the face because my lusts wanted me to ruin my soul. I do not know how to explain where I was at when I was young. I date my coming to terms with reality in America when I was working at the Egg Pit. Maybe I am coming into contact with more and more truth Light as I get closer to dying and going to Heaven/New Creation.
Well I got to close to wake up my wife and tell her time to face existence In Christ Jesus.
old diary entry glorycloud