When we got up to face another day I drank coffee I made last night. I then got ready another pot of coffee ready to brew when the old coffee had been drunk. After I got myself a cup of coffee I messed with our main computer. I am a creature of habit. After messing with our main computer I made a pot of oatmeal for Carol and I. After breakfast I wrote in my paper diary and have been reading this reading this morning from a book titled, "Hidden But Now Revealed: A Biblical Theology of Mystery" by G. K. Beale & Benjamin L. Gladd.
I have nothing to do today worth doing, which I am thankful for. I want to be left alone to seek the face of God. I could have become a good contemplative monk if I had not been converted to Protestantism. I have no love for this American world. I am in the world, but not a part of the world. If that is so why do I read secular books, listen to secular music and eat secular food? Good question. I suppose am a paradox. I have never claimed to be perfect. But I am seeking to live soberly, not go from one extreme to the other. I am in the end a middle-class American evangelical Christian living high on the hog. It is all a mystery to me why I have it so good and so many are having it so bad in the world. We all must live lives of thanksgiving in these Last Days.
Carol leaves late this morning to have lunch with some of her cousins, an Aunt and an Uncle. I will stay home and pray our home does not burn down to the ground.
Last night Carol and I watched professional football and I read before going to sleep some more of the novel, "Shark" by Will Self.
Well, I do not know what else to write right now. I am down in the lower level. Carol is up on the first level reading her Bible. This morning she made cookies for her family members/kinfolk.
This morning I was trying to remember what life was like before my mother was killed December 1968. Carol told me that my youngest sister's birthday is November 30th. I can not remember what life was like when my youngest sister was a baby. When our mother was killed in a car wreck my youngest sister was either two or three years old. I have no memories of her at that time. My memory has faded away.
I must not remember those long ago days because I was traumatized. Those days before my mother's sudden death I barely remember now. Strange.
I suppose in a way it does no good to recall my childhood days. I am to live in the Now and not in the Past.
I will close to drift. Existence keeps on decaying.