Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger

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the flow of human sweat

It is 8:45 AM Sunday morning in the flow of human sweat. Lately at night I have been sweating pools of sweat. Maybe I am sick with something. I have a doctor's appointment this coming Tuesday. I have to get a health check for our insurance coverage. My blood should tell my doctor if anything is serious wrong with me. (I do not plan to tell my doctor about me sweating at night. I plan to say nothing to my doctor, just go through the ordeal and then come home and plan for recovery. I hate doctor's appointments!)

This morning my wife and I got up to around 5:05 AM. We were on the road by 5:45 AM for the Grand Rapids Airport. I dropped off Carol at 6:30 AM at the airport. Her plane for Boston was planned to leave at 7:30 AM. It was extremely painful to see my wife leave me. I am sick with pain right now. What amazes me is that my wife knows her leaving me causes me great pain and yet she still goes. I tell my wife all the time that I could never leave her. I love being with my wife. Carol does fine without me. Weird. I love intensely. I am a romantic. I am a fire lover!

After dropping off Carol at the airport I zoomed back to Holland. Before coming home I stopped and went grocery shopping. When I got home I cleaned the kitchen and then wrote down my pain in my paper diary.

Last night we watched college football and went to bed around 9:50 PM. I might take a nap this afternoon since I feel emotionally ruined. I am praying to the Lord to keep me from cracking up. As I get older I am more emotionally weak. I am not a strong man. I am broken. It is the Lord that keeps me from fragmenting.

Well I will close to make coffee and wait it out. I am trapped.

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