• Mood: contemplative
• Music: J Mascis "Tied To A Star"

to make the novel an aesthetic object rather than a communicative act

It is 9:12 AM Tuesday morning in the divine flow. It is a hot sunny morning here. What is the weather like where you live?

Carol just left to walk Rudy around the neighborhood. This morning Carol and I are going to visit thrift stores and go grocery shopping.

I do not remember much about last night. I feel sick lately inside. Something is not right with me. Maybe I do not feel well is because Carol is leaving me for 10 days. I do not like being absolutely alone. I try to tell myself that while Carol is gone I can fast and pray. I can prepare for death while my wife is visiting our son Caleb and his wife Emily. Emily is suppose to give birth to our second grandchild Sept. 3 Boston Mass. Carol is going to help out while Emily recovers from the birth experience. I still find it hard to imagine our oldest son Caleb being a Dad. But I suppose it is hard to imagine me being a Grandpa. Life keeps zooming by. One generation follows another generation.

This morning I have been doing the usual stuff and reading, "Flaubert: The Uses of Uncertainty" by Jonathan Culler.

Well I will close to feel sick with anxiety and dread.