Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger

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It is 5:09 PM Friday evening. As I was eating food for an evening meal. I actually do not sit down and eat a meal. I eat throughout the day small portions of food. Carol did not make a big meal yesterday afternoon for us to sit down and eat together. Carol and I do not often sit down and eat food together. Anyway as I was eating this evening I was trying to remember my personal history of eating food.

I do not think I became aware of food until I was 16 years old. I do not remember going hungry growing up. But I do not remember what we ate. I do not remember my mother cooking food for us to eat, but she must have cooked. (My mother was killed in a car wreck when I was 16 years old.) I think I became aware of food when I lived with my first foster family in Richmond California. In the past have mentioned here in LJ that I had a stomach ulcer growing up. I started getting sick with an ulcer when I was nine years old. I am no longer suffering from a stomach ulcer due to modern medications. I do not think I have been sick with a bad stomach going on 10 years now. For many years I could hardly eat anything without getting sick to my stomach. When I was young I was very skinny. Now I am over weight, but not super fat. I could lose 30 pounds easily to look somewhat normal.

Anyway my first foster family did not eat food, but food supplements. My first foster family consisted of a divorced woman with one teenage son. This mother and son were into eating raw vegetables and food supplements. They ate very little real food. So I basically was always hungry or sick to my stomach. My second foster family had basically the same diet as my first foster family. So I never really ate real food while in High School. I lived on air. I suppose when you are young food is not that important. If I did eat something it usually made me sick. I lived on bread and milk which did not upset my stomach.

I do not think I really started eating regularly until the last ten years. I could not keep food down for years. I would eat a meal, get sick to my stomach and throw up. I also hardly slept for years, because my stomach ulcer kept me awake during the night. I basically was miserable for years due to my bad stomach.

Three times I was in a hospital due to a bleeding ulcer before I met Carol in Bible College(1978). For years I could eat no spicy or rich food. If I did eat something spicy or rich I would immediately get sick and throw up.

There were times during my early 20's when I had no money for food. I had girlfriends who fed me when I was with them. I also had Christian friends who would buy me a meal. I mainly lived on cream of wheat and milk for many years. But there were times when there was no cream of wheat or milk so I silently suffered hunger. But at least I was not sick to my stomach while starving.

Now I can eat anything but I am not into eating food. But I am thankful my stomach ulcer is gone and I can sleep at night without stomach pain.

Carol is into food but I am not. Carol will ask me for example if I want anything at the Farmer's Market and I will answer No. Carol will buy all kinds of vegetables, but I will not eat them (maybe sometimes I will eat string-beans). When we go grocery shopping I will usually buy stuff like orange juice or bread. I am not into food. I basically eat out of habit. I am thankful for food and know we are richly blessed with a super abundance of food. But I still find eating not exciting.

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