Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger
crookedfingers

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Act through inaction

It is now in the flow of my life 8:20 PM Wednesday night. I am once again listening to music and waiting till something decent comes on TV. I am tired, but it is way too early to hit the sack. My wife has left for work and it is only Rudy and I this evening. After tonight my wife is off four nights. Existence keeps decaying.

I did do yard work today. I did mow the lawn and hack at plant growth in our backyard this afternoon. I am thankful I did not have a heart attack as I was mowing our grass.

I read after doing yard work from the book, "The Complete Works Of Isaac Babel" Edited By Nathalie Babel [Translated By Peter Constantine]. I have been mainly sitting in our dining room pondering and listening to music.

Tomorrow I cover for someone at the Herrick Public Library used bookstore from 10 AM till 1 PM.

There is nothing pressing on my mind this evening. I have been wondering though if when my mother was killed back in December 1968 if something in me also die. Because something die in my back in December 1968 and therefore I have never caught up with my existence. It is like in some way my life ended in December 1968. I never got over the death of my mother. I have always seen myself as motherless and fatherless. I am alone. But then I tell myself I am a Christian. So in August 1970 when I started following the Lord Jesus I was reborn and I started living a spiritual life. When does those two forms of life merge into one life today?

I was telling my wife it always amazes me that people find something to do in life. I never wanted to do anything in life but be a soul winner or a Teaching Elder (a gospel minister). Because I always wanted to be a gospel preacher I never pursued being a writer. I could never be a writer because I am always wanting to tell people the Gospel of God. Now I am 61 years old and soon I will be getting social security. I can honestly tell people I am retired and not employed.

Well I suppose I will close to sit and wait. I like the new Mastodon record.
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