Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger

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update on 100 Life Facts

I was looking over that entry of 100 Facts about my life that I need to revise since I wrote that entry many years ago. I usually post those old journal entries about my past when I get new LiveJournal friends, because I want these folks to know where I am coming from, my past. My wife tells me I live in my past. Sometimes I wonder if I am stuck in the same place that took place a long time ago. Am I spinning my wheels. Have I really ever moved on?

I will post revisions this morning on some of those hundred life facts.

#67. we moved to Houston Texas and to my internship at Covenant PCA some of the worse years of my life

The reason why these years were some of the worse was that I gradually realized there was no American Dream. I had these crazy spiritual daydreams many years ago of being an ordained gospel minister preaching the Gospel and supporting our family. Well all went South. The American dream turned into nightmare. I realize there was no Church to call up on the telephone for help. There was no Church to come to our aid as I slowly sunk in the mud of despair.

At the same time our years in Texas had some bright spots like me coming into awareness of the History of Christian Spirituality. I learned about the Christian contemplative life while living in Houston Texas.

#68. terrible time in Texas

When I was doing my ministerial internship at Covenant PCA in Houston Texas it was extremely stressful because I did not fit. I could not conform to the model of a professional Presbyterian minister ministering among professional people. Back in those days I had a beard and wore old suits. I read Beat literature and the Catholic mystics, which was at odds with conservative Presbyterianism. (When we lived in Houston Texas I went to my first Grateful Dead concert.)

#69. we moved back to Michigan to settle down and raise our three children 13 years ago.

As of today I think we have lived in Holland Michigan going on 23 years (July 1991). We moved to Holland 23 years ago to raise our three children. My wife grew up in Holland Michigan. Carol my wife grew up in a traditional family here in Holland MI. Carol's mother was a housewife, never worked outside the home. Carol's Dad worked in a factory for over 40 years and died in his 60's a number of years ago. Carol has two brothers and a sister. Carol has been a professing Christian since she was a girl. Carol grew up in the Christian Reformed Church. My wife has been a professional nurse for over 40 years.

When Carol and I had children I wanted them to have a stable Christian upbringing. I did not want our kids to go through what I went through as a child and a teenager. Holland Michigan we thought would be a good place to raise our kids. Also Carol's mother was widow and Carol wanted to be near her as she grew older. Carol's mother passed away a couple of years ago. Carol's other sister Barb is married and lives in the state of New York.

#71. I do not like my job but I do like being free to be myself

Read what I wrote earlier this morning about my job at the Hamilton Farm Bureau. I think I started working at the Hamilton Farm Bureau-Egg Division unloading trucks around 1992 or 1993 and got fired June 2007. One thing I learned when I was in the work force is that there is nothing over the hill top. Meaning all there is is now Today and not tomorrow. When I was working the guys I worked with were always talking about the next better paying job etc. . . I always said to these daydreamers, "All there is is right now. There is nothing else, so you might as well swallow your poison now and not dream of some better tomorrow."

I suppose I enjoy being myself. Not saying I am happy with everything I am as a Christian, but one has to come to place of acceptance of who one is in Christ Jesus. I am not going to go to the grave hating who I am. I pray constantly to be more Christ-like.

#76. I want to visit Spain someday and visit the places where St. John of the Cross lived and wrote

I realized these last couple of years I hate flying in jet planes and I do not want to go anywhere but the New Creation.

#77. I wish I could read and speak Spanish so I could read St. John of the Cross in his own language

I like to still be able to speak Spanish and I still read the writings of St. John of the Cross. But I would say today I am into the New Testament, especially the Pauline Epistles. I love the apostle Paul of the New Testament. I am into New Covenant spirituality or New Testament Ethics.

"80. I consider myself a Reformed Evangelical mystic Jesus Freak

I would describe myself today as an Evangelical Christian. (I still hold to salvation by grace alone. Man is not saved by works.)

#84. I drink coke and rarely anything else

I rarely these days drink soda pop. I drink water and coffee these days.

Well I suppose I will close to wander. Existence speeding by! No way out.

Before I completely close I should mention that all three of our children are now married. Caleb Jon married Emily in 2009, Bethany married Andy in 2010 and Josiah married Hannah in 2011. Beth and Andy just had a baby girl Louisa Mae and Caleb and Emily are a expecting their first child in September. Josiah and Hannah have no children yet.

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