It is now in the heavenly flow 3:47 PM Friday afternoon. Next Friday I will be alone. I hate being alone. I need a wife by my side as I slowly head for the grave. I want someone to be around to throw flowers on my grave. I just took my daily hot shower after taking a short nap. I laid down around 1:55 PM and now it is going on 4 o'clock PM. Carol did not wake me up to tell me Beth and Andy had their baby. Maybe Beth is still in labor, Carol told me a woman having her first child could be in labor up to 14 hours. So we wait for the scream of life to be heard.

I do not know what came in the mail this afternoon. I am not expecting anything to come in the mail for me this week.

I have been reading today when possible "The Spiritual Espousals" by John Ruusbroec (1293-1381).

Well I will close to go upstairs to face it. There is no way of escape.

"Now understand well what follows: The measureless illumination of God which, together with his incomprehensible resplendence, is a cause of all gifts and virtues is the same incomprehensible light which transforms and pervades our spirit's inclination toward blissful enjoyment. It does this in a way which is devoid of all particular form, since it occurs in incomprehensible light. In this light the spirit immerses itself in a rest of pure bliss, for this rest is modeless and fathomless. It cannot be known except through itself, for if we could know and comprehend it by ourselves it would lapse into some particular form or measure and would then not be able to satisfy us; instead, this rest would become an eternal state of restlessness. For this reason the simple, loving inclination of our spirit, immersed in rest, produces in us a blissful love, and such love is fathomless. Here, God's deep calls to deep (cf. Ps. 42:8), that is, calls to all who are united with the Spirit of God in blissful love. This call is an overflow of essential resplendence, and this essential resplendence, enveloping us in fathomless love, makes us lose ourselves and flow forth into the wild darkness of the Godhead. Thus united-one with the Spirit of God, without intermediary-we are able to meet God with God and endlessly possess our eternal blessedness with him and in him. This most interior way of life is practiced in three manners or modes." pg. 132 "The Spiritual Espousals" by John Ruusbroec