Crooked Finger (crookedfingers) wrote,
Crooked Finger

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the thrill of being carried away to another world

Time keeps going by. The computer tells me the time is now 2:01 PM. I decided to stay home and read my books. I have been reading "Susan Sontag: The Making of an Icon" by Carl Rollyson & Lisa Paddock. As I was reading this book on Sontag something written brought some old painful memories to me. I will first quote from the book and then share my memories.

"Susan had a fierce desire to possess literature and to be possessed by it. Her fervent memories of this period, and the sense of isolation, seem stifling. Her passion for collecting literature even evolved into criminal activity when she occasionally stole the books she could not afford to purchase with her meager allowance." pg. 16

I remember when I was I think around 14 years old we were living in Los Angeles, Calif.. My mother was a bar maid and I was the oldest of five children (at this time only my brother Mike and my two sisters Robin and Dawnelle were living with us. My brother Robert was living our step-father in Maryland.). I remember being in the 9th grade and loving books. I spent a lot of time in the Jr. High School library. I had no money for books. I also did not know what to read. I read whatever came my way. I remember stealing books from grocery stores. I would stuff paperbacks down my pants and go hide them someplace. I then would go someplace alone like a open field or a construction site and read these cheap novels. I remember the thrill of being carried away to another place.

It was not until I was in High School (my mother was killed in a car wreck when I was 16 years old) we went to live with my aunt (Robin went to live with her father in Maryland and Dawnelle went to live with her father in Indio Calif.. I have not seen Robin or Dawnelle since December 1968. I have not seen my brother Robert since maybe 1963 (?). My brother Mike we visited in Washington D.C. many years ago. I am not in contact with any of my brothers or sisters.

So in High School I started visiting the Richmond Public Library in Richmond Calif.. My first foster mother had books in her house that I looked at. Back in those days I would read a book for a couple of weeks and then go on to something else. It has only been in the last couple of years that I have read books from cover to cover.

During the Summer of 1970 the Lord saved me. I got into reading the Bible and have not stopped reading the Bible. I do not read the Bible daily but I do look at it all the time. I read books where the Bible is quoted or I read things like a study of Second Corinthians chapters 1 through 6. I went to Bible College and Seminary. I taught Adult Sunday for 10 years. It has only been in the last three or four years that I have read secular literature once again. I have returned to the reading habits of my youth. Now I read all over the map. I like reading all kinds of stuff. I collect literature. I am a book lover. I also love to write words. I have been writing since I was 16 years old in diary form mainly. I played with the idea of being a serious writer, but realized a long time ago I do not have the intellectual gifts or discipline to be a serious writer. So I just write about existence Here and in my personal diaries.

When I was seeking the office of a Teaching Elder I wrote all the time sermons and lessons on books of the Bible. I have a Ton of sermons and Bible lessons down in the basement. Now I just write to keep track of my nowhere existence. A harmless way to wait for the end of the world.

My wife has spoiled me and let's me buy all the books I want. She knows books do bring some sunshine into my existence. It does bother me I am not out sharing The Word with the church and society, but I have to be still and know the Lord is in control.

Well I will go back to read about the life of Susan Sontag.

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