April 27th, 2021

the radical otherness of God

It is 11:48 AM late Tuesday morning. I just remembered our granddaughter Josie Joy comes to our house after she gets out of school at 2:30 PM. Our oldest son drops Josie off on the way back to his place. Caleb works from home and Josie gets bored by herself. So Caleb drops off Josie so her Noni can entertain her till Emily her mother comes home around 4:30 PM from work.

I got up this morning around 6:30 AM. I took drugs last night to enable me to sleep, so all morning I have felt like crap. It takes all morning and into the afternoon for this nerve drug to wear off. Plus this morning I ate eggs for breakfast and afterwards I felt like gagging. I am not into food. I am not a food junkie. I am into feeling empty so as to be filled with the Holy Ghost.

Carol left this morning to do errands. When Carol got home she changed her clothes and went to have lunch with her sister-in-law widow and her sisters for lunch. Carol's older brother died a couple of years ago from cancer.

I have spent the morning feeling sick, reading from a book titled, 'Contemplating God with the Great Tradition: Recovering Trinitarian Classical Theism' by Craig A. Carter. I also have been writing a ton of shit in my paper diary. The shit just flows out of me lately. I am wasted on Girl Scout Cookies and Lemon Pound Cake. I am overfed. I need to fast and pray instead of seeking stimulation of my intellect/creative juices.

Yesterday I received in the mail a book I had ordered titled, 'A User's Guide to Melancholy' by Mary Ann Lund. This book is a user's guide to the classic book, 'The Anatomy Of Melancholy' by Richard Burton. I looked at these books last night. So much to read as I float in smoke.

I also read last night before crashing, 'Backward Ran Sentences: The Best of Wolcott Gibbs from the New Yorker' Edited And Introduction By Thomas Vinciguerra.

Well it is now in the death flow 12:02 PM I will close to feel sick to the center of my Self.

  • Current Music
    The Mars Volta 'de-loused in the comatorium'

fundamental sense of the divine mediated by the created order

It is 7:24 PM Tuesday evening here in West Michigan. Another day has gone in the History Book. No day that has ever happened is forgotten by God the Creator. Because God created each day He therefore knows each day forever. Time is never gotten by God. We are responsible for how we use God's Time. It is a sin to waste time eating Lemon Cake and eating Girl Scout Cookies. One should use Time in such a way that is creative and sets for the beauties of Reality in a world that is dying.

I spent the day mainly writing in my paper diary, messing with our main computer, and reading from a book titled, 'God In Himself: Scripture, Metaphysics, and the Task of Christian Theology' by Steven J. Duby. I also read today from these two books, 'Contemplating God with the Great Tradition: Recovering Trinitarian Classical Theism' by Craig A. Carter and 'The Life Of Jesus Christ' Part One Volume 2, Chapters 41-92 by Ludolph of Saxony Translated By Milton T. Walsh.

Carol was gone most of the day. She was here for awhile to baby-sit Josie. So the day has gone by. Carol and I did fill up the car with more used book to haul off to Gateway Center Holland Rescue Mission tomorrow. I have to haul out of our library thousands of books this month and maybe into the Summer months. It is very sad to see my closest friends hauled away, but what can I do? I wish Carol loved books as much as I do so I did not have to throw into a pit of fire to be destroyed.

The weather today was hot. Things are really blooming now. I walked around our house this afternoon and everything is blooming. I just remembered I mowed the front and back yard today while Carol was out roaming the world.

Well I suppose I will close to brush my teeth and wait to go to bed. Tomorrow is a Wednesday in the death flow.

If I find the presence of mind this evening I plan to read once again from this book, 'Backward Ran Sentences: The Best of Wolcott Gibbs from The New Yorker' Edited And Introduced By Thomas Vinciguerra.

  • Current Mood
    exhausted exhausted