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October 2nd, 2019 
It is 8:03 AM Wednesday morning here in the state of Michigan. I live in Holland Michigan. A college town near Lake Michigan. Outside this morning it is wet and gray. It is predicted to rain today, a light rain. When will we see the Autumn colors this year.

I got out of bed this morning around 6:05 AM. I was not sure if I wanted to get up this morning. It is depressing waking up to an empty house. What would life be if Carol was to die? I often wonder what my life would be if Carol was to die. Would I keep the house like it presently is. Would I change the inside of our home. Everything in this house reminds me of my wife. Her memory is everywhere I look when I get up to face another day in the American Empire. We can not escape memories.

I got up warmed up a cup of coffee and messed with our main computer. After messing with our computer I wrote in my paper diary. These days it all seems pointless to read my Christian books. The planet earth has been destroyed and we will soon be extinct.

Last night I mainly read, 'Ducks, Newburyport' a novel by Lucy Ellmann. I went to bed last night around 11 o'clock PM. Now it is another day to wait for salvation. My only hope is that God will save me.

This morning I am suppose to pick up Tim and go someplace for coffee. Do not know what I will do the rest of the day. Time will go by so why freak out. I need to hide in the cellar. I will close to face the passage of my solitary existence.
It is now in the death flow 4:22 PM Wednesday late afternoon or it could also be early evening. It is up to you to decide what time of day it is.

I have not written twice in my online diaries in a very long time. The reason why I do not write twice here is because I have nothing of importance to communicate. My life is basically the same, nothing really changes from one day to the next. What I wrote several years ago could be a description of this day in my life. All my days are pretty much the same. The reason I am writing is to list the used books I recently bought at thrift stores or got in the mail. I need to make a list in case I film a video for my Youtube channel and need to paste the list below the video. I like to list the books seen in my videos because I sometimes forget to mention the author or mispronounce the name of the author etc. . . So here is a list of the used books I recently added to our library-

'West with Night' a memoir by Beryl Markham

'The River Swimmer' Novellas by Jim Harrison

'Ten Little Indians' Stories by Sherman Alexie

'The Right Madness' crime fiction by James Crumley

'God's Battalion's-The Case For The Crusades' by Rodney Stark

'Vintage Nantucket' history of Nantucket Island by A.B.C. Whipple

'Waiting for God' Spirituality by Simone Weil

'Rumpole Misbehaves' A Novel by John Mortimer

'Dear Theo: The Autobiography of Vincent Gogh' Edited by Irving Stone

'The Bible As I Was' by James K. Kugel

In the mail today I received a book I had ordered titled, 'Shaky Ground: The Sixties And Its Aftershocks' by Alice Echols. I checked out of the library today a memoir titled 'How To Disappear: a memoir for misfits' by Duncan Fallowell. This evening I have been reading this memoir 'How To Disappear' by Fallowell.

Carol called as I was writing here in my LiveJournal diary. It is cold and rainy there in Wisconsin. The weather is winter like this week throughout the Midwest.

This morning I took Tim out for breakfast. After breakfast we checked out books at Barnes & Nobles retail bookstore. The books are too expensive in this retain bookstore. After Barnes & Nobles we went to Salvation Army thrift store where I bought a bunch of used books for three dollars.

Well there is not much else to report this evening. I do not know what I will do tonight to make it all worth while. I will close to face the winter storm.

Christian Spirituality reflections

Jason Harrigan video-
Reading, Silence, and Contemplation. Lectio Divina

'Carthusian Spirituality: The Writings Of Hugh Of Balma And Guigo De Ponte' [The Classics Of Western Spirituality]

'Reading The Bible Supernaturally: Seeing and Savoring the Glory of God in Scripture' by John Piper

'The Dark Night' St. John of the Cross

'Participatory Biblical Exegesis: A Theology of Biblical Interpretation' by Matthew Levering

'The Cloud Of Unknowing' by unknown monk

'Interpreting Scripture with the Great Tradition: Recovering the Genius of Premodern Exegesis' by Craig A. Carter

'Interior Castle' by St. Teresa Of Avila

'Biblical Spirituality' Edited by Christopher W. Morgan

O the deep, deep love of Jesus, vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!
Rolling as a mighty ocean in its fullness over me!
Underneath me, all around me, is the current of Thy love
Leading onward, leading homeward to Thy glorious rest above!

O the deep, deep love of Jesus, spread His praise from shore to shore!
How He loveth, ever loveth, changeth never, nevermore!
How He watches o’er His loved ones, died to call them all His own;
How for them He intercedeth, watcheth o’er them from the throne!

O the deep, deep love of Jesus, love of every love the best!
’Tis an ocean full of blessing, ’tis a haven giving rest!
O the deep, deep love of Jesus, ’tis a heaven of heavens to me;
And it lifts me up to glory, for it lifts me up to Thee!
O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.
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