November 24th, 2018

cosmic conflict

It is in the death watch 9:41 AM Saturday morning here in southwest Michigan. It is a cold rainy dark morning. The rain is suppose to turn to snow either today or tomorrow.

I have been fighting to stay awake all morning. I have those morning where I can't stay awake. Last night I had the same problem of staying awake. Carol did not leave for work last night till 11:20 PM. All evening I sat in the dark dozing till Carol got up. I did read off and on throughout the evening hours. But every time I tried to read I found myself falling asleep. This winter weather makes me want to crawl into a warm cave and sleep till Spring.

This morning I got up around 7 o'clock AM. I made myself a pot of coffee and some oatmeal for breakfast. I messed with our main computer and then ate my oatmeal. After eating my oatmeal I wrote in my paper diary and read when not falling asleep from a book titled, 'Theodicy Of Love: Cosmic Conflict and the Problem of Evil' by John C. Peckham.

Carol said to me last night as she was leaving for work that she planned to go over to Dave and Gail's after work to see how things were going. Dave is slowly dying and Carol wants to me there as much as possible/she is a nurse.

I might watch college football games today. but how can one watch football when someone is dying. Death is everywhere.

I thought of leaving the house to roam the death land, but I am too wasted to perform such an act.

Last night I forced myself to read, 'Reformed Preaching' by Beeke and 'Psalm 1-72' Old Testament VII Reformation Commentary On Scripture.

I might get in the mail today Volume 6 of 'The Works of William Perkins'. That would be a nice kick in the face.

Well I will close to face what comes next down the road of death. God is on a throne.
  • Current Music
    Altarage 'Nihl'

the Near East

It is in the night death flow 8:48 PM Saturday night. I can go to bed around 10 o'clock PM. It has been an intense fight all day to keep myself awake. I am sick of everything! Absolutely sick of everything! I need a vacation from the world. What I should do is go for a walk and get some fresh air into my lungs.

Today I mainly watched college ball or sat in the dark. Carol got up around 5:30 PM this evening to prepare to go to work. Carol got someone to cover her shift tomorrow so she can stay with Dave and Gail as Dave waits to die. We do not know how long Dave will live, but it won't be long. Dave could be in the world to come anytime.

Tonight I am too tired to do anything but write in my online diaries. I could watch some more college football if worse comes to rub. I could make a video for my Youtube channel this evening. It has been two days since I have made a video in Booktube. I do have used books to show in a video from the Book Nook. I have not read much today. I thought today I would get in the mail volume 6 of 'The Works of William Perkins'. Maybe this volume of Perkins Works will come in the mail next week. Like I need another book to read like I need another hole in my head.

I did look at today while watching college football a book I got at the Book Nook yesterday titled, 'The Lure Of The East: British Orientalist Painting' Edited By Nicholas Tromans.

Tomorrow I do not know what I will do. I am tired. I am so thankful I do not have to go work Monday. It is suppose to snow Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday next week. We already have called our snowplow man to make sure he clears our driveway this winter of snow. I have to keep reminding myself I do not have to drive in snow storms anywhere.

Well I suppose I will close to feel like shit. I am thankful though I am not going to die the next second.
  • Current Music
    Of Feather and Bone 'Bestial Hymns of Perversion'