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November 4th, 2018 
It is a cold gray Sunday morning here in southwest Michigan. It rained during the night so everything is soaked with water. The trees are almost all bare now. The bleakness of Winter is upon us once again.

I got up this morning around 7:15 AM. Last night I set the clocks back an hour as I watched college football. I went to bed around 11:45 last night. My life keep speeding along without my permission. So I got up made myself a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast and ate my mush messing with our main computer. After messing with our main computer I wrote in my paper diary and then read till Carol got home from work from a book I was reading last night while watching college football titled, 'Meditations From A Movable Chair' by Andre Dubus. Carol got home from work around 9:05 AM. Before coming home from work she went downtown to Reader's World to get more Sunday newspapers. She took a Sunday newspaper to her older brother Dave who is in rehab at Freedom Village. Carol told me Dave was very discouraged/depressed. I often wonder these days how would I react if I was in Dave's situation-sick with cancer-weak-frail-old beyond his years-total dependent on other people especially his wife-feeling awful all the time-not home but in a hospital. How would I react to all those circumstances? Would I be able to pray with spiritual freedom to the Lord for grace? for strength? Would I feel close to God if I was as sick as Dave? Dave from what I know claims to be a Christian. Does Dave find comfort in his relationship to the Lord Jesus? Is Dave experiencing the tender loving care of his Savior Jesus Christ? Where does a Christian find comfort in dark difficult times like being sick with cancer and old? How will I react when death or sickness approaches me or one of my loved ones? Now is the time to be ready for those dark days I tell myself. Time is running out. Death approaches faster and faster.

So it is a cold wet gray Sunday morning. I have no plans for the day ahead of me. Wait the day out. Maybe watch some professional football. Look at my books through out the day. Carol works tonight and then is off for two weeks. She leaves for Denver Colorado this coming Tuesday early morning.Her planes lands in Denver Tuesday around 11 o'clock AM.

Well, I suppose I will close to feel old and cold. There is no where to hide.

Freedom Village Used Books Haul #2

'Sideshow: Kissinger, Nixon, And The Destruction Of Cambodia' American history by William Shawcross

'Deliver Us From Evil:Peacekeeper, Warlords and a World of Endless Conflict' by William Shawcross

'Barracoon: The Story of the Last "Black Cargo" by Zora Neale Hurston

'The Nature of Winter' Nature writing by Jim Crumley

'Meditations From A Movable Chair' essays by Audre Dubus

'A Ringing Glass: The Life Of Rainer Maria Rilke' biography by Donald Prater

'The Short Novels Of Dostoevsky'

'The Praise Singer' historical fiction by Mary Renault

'The First Part Of The Life And Achievements Of The Renowned Don Quixote De La Mancha' fiction by Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra Translated By Peter Motteux Illustrated With Wood Engravings By Hans Alexander Mueller [Random House 1941]

'Dostoevsky: The Mantle of the Prophet, 1871-1881' biography by Joseph Frank

"We please God most, not by frantically trying to make ourselves good, but by throwing ourselves into His arms with all our imperfections and believing that He understands everything-and loves us still"
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