March 9th, 2016

expulsion from Eden

It is now in the flow of existence 10 o'clock AM Wednesday morning. It is a warm gray damp day. It is suppose to rain today and tomorrow. The snow has mostly melted due to the warm weather.

I got up this morning around 6:54 AM. I got up made myself a small pot of oatmeal and ate my oatmeal messing with our main computer. I was upset to learn Trump won the primary for the Republican Party here in Michigan. I am not a Republican, but it is depressing to know all around me are so called professing Christians voting for Trump. To me if Trump becomes our next President we are going to see full scale class warfare. The future of America right now looks dark to me. I wish there was someplace I could escape to. I do not want to live in this dead American world any longer. I am absolutely sick of everything!

This morning after messing with our main computer I wrote in my paper diary and tried to read for morning devotions some more of the book, "The Presence Of God: Its Place In The Storyline of Scripture And The Story Of Our Lives" by J. Ryan Lister.

Last night I messed with our main computer, made a video for my YouTube channel and listened to black metal music. I went to bed around 11 o'clock PM and now it is another day to fight off a state of exhaustion.

Well I will close to feel wasted. There is no way out.
  • Current Music
    Altar of Plagues 'Mammal'

full cardiac arrest

It is now in the cold life flow 3:27 PM Wednesday afternoon. I took a nap from 1:40 PM till 3 o'clock PM down in the lower level. Outside it is still gray and warm. It is suppose to rain today and tomorrow. Where is the forecasted rain?

Carol got home from her Strong Arm Code class around 11:10 AM. When she got home I was outside walking around our house checking things out. All the snow has melted and soon it will be time to plant flower seeds in my flower bed garden by the right side of our home. I saw a crocus flower coming out the ground by our garage containers this morning.

Before I took a nap I was wandering my cell and reading the novel "Gloria" by Keith Maillard. I am not too impressed by this novel because it is an exact copy of any novel by the writer John O'Hara. Before reading some of the novel "Gloria" I forced myself to read a few pages of the novel "Infinite Jest" by David Foster Wallace. I suppose I too out of it to read really anything today. I am sick of everything. I can not escape myself. I can not escape being aware of all the shit going on in the world, American politics especially. I am trapped in this insane world. I want out, but there is no way out. So I can do is suffer.

Carol told me this morning that a fellow came in the hospital during the night who was in his early 40's and died. The wife said she heard her husband breathing unusually hard next to her and she woke up and asked him if he was alright. She called emergency medical people, they came to the house but when they got there the fellow was already in full cardiac arrest. When the medical people got him to the hospital they were still working on him, but he did not make it. The fellow died leaving a wife and two children. Yesterday the fellow went to bed and during the night he died. Was the fellow ready to meet his Creator and Judge? We never know when we will be called to face our Creator and Judge and give an account of our lives. Life is so quickly over. The fellow did not have time to say good-bye to his wife and children. Death suddenly took him. Now he is gone forever and his wife and children have to face the grief and loss of their husband and father.

In thinking about this sudden death of a man in his early 40's I remember when I was in my 40's not knowing what to do the rest of my life when I realized I was never going to be ordained to the Gospel Ministry. There I was at 40 years old with no future ahead of me. Now I am 63 years old waiting to meet my heavenly Father when I am called to glory. Life just keeps zooming by! We are here today and gone tomorrow.

So the day goes by. I suppose I will close to wait for darkness to come.

"[1] Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.
[2] For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.
[3] For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
[4] For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.
[5] And in this place again, If they shall enter into my rest.
[6] Seeing therefore it remaineth that some must enter therein, and they to whom it was first preached entered not in because of unbelief" Hebrews 4:1-6
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

Jesus, I Am Resting, Resting

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power,
Thou hast made me whole.


Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

O, how great Thy loving kindness,
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O, how marvelous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Belovèd,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.


Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings:
Thine is love indeed!


Ever lift Thy face upon me
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting ’neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth’s dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father’s glory,
Sunshine of my Father’s face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting,
Fill me with Thy grace.


"There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God" Hebrews 4:9
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative