January 12th, 2016

someday there will not be a white race

It is in the snow flow 8:30 AM Tuesday morning. Outside it is snowing and very cold. I am thankful for a warm cell.

I got up this morning around 6:30 AM. I got up to find my wife making corn bread. I made us oatmeal for breakfast. I ate my oatmeal messing with our main computer. I basically follow the same routine each day. I am a creature of habit. I find security in sameness. After messing with our main computer I wrote in my paper diary and then looked at a book I got out of our library last night titled, "Koestler: The Literary And Political Odyssey Of A Twentieth-Century Skeptic" biography by Michael Scammell. I got out this biography on Arthur Koestler because yesterday in reading the letters of Iris Murdoch she mentioned in one of her letters written during towards the end of Second World War Arthur Koestler. I wanted to read in this biography on Koestler what he was doing during the Second World War. I have read many biographies by British writers and poets who lived through the Second World War.

Last night we watched the college football playoff national championship game. I was going for Alabama and was glad they beat Clemson. Carol watched half of the football game and went to bed. She is not an Alabama fan like I am. I went to bed after the game and now it is another day to face the snow and ice.

I have no plans for the day. I will read my books and wait for the end. Existence keeps speeding by!


  • Current Music
    Bob Mould 'Workbook 25'

old photo January 2008 and recent photo of me January 2016

I find it scary how fast I am aging these days! David Bowie at the age of 69 and I will be 69 years old in five years (if I live that long). It seems just yesterday when I was a young man and now I am old. Where has the fire of youth gone? Inside these days I feel nothing. I find it puzzling that I feel nothing these days. I use to feel all kinds of emotions when I was young. These days I feel old and empty. Weird. I can not find any reason or cause for this state of emptiness. If I feel anything it is sadness. A persisted feeling of melancholy. I keep waiting for a fire to break out inside of me. A revival of youth. A feeling of deep intense passion for life to spring forth from deep inside of me,

I count my blessings each day in spite of feeling lifeless. I have much to be thankful for in my old age.

Mr. Keen


old diary entry January 2008
  • Current Music
    Bob Mould 'Silver Age'

Whittaker Chambers

It is in the snow flow 1:45 PM Eastern Standard Time Tuesday afternoon. Carol has gone to bed to sleep because she goes back to work tonight. I have been wandering my cell and reading a book I mentioned earlier today titled, "Koestler: The Literary And Political Odyssey Of A Twentieth-Century Skeptic" biography by Michael Scammell. In this biography the journalist Whittaker Chambers was mentioned. I have in our library a biography on the life and times of Wittaker Chambers titled, "Whittaker Chambers: A Biography" by Sam Tanenhaus. I have been looking at this interesting biography on Whittaker Chambers this afternoon. When not reading or writing in my personal diary I watch the birds on our bird feeder and wander my cell.

I will close to read and drift.


  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

in some inward influences, and irradiations, upon the hearts of his people

It is in the ice flow 8:11 PM Tuesday night. I am once again alone with my Self. I drove my dear sweet wife to work about 15 minutes ago. It is horrible outside due to a winter storm coming off Lake Michigan. I am sure we will have dig ourselves out tomorrow morning. I was thankful the fellow who plows our driveway came this morning. I am in no physical shape to shovel snow off our driveway.

I had a super quiet day reading my books, watching birds around our bird feeder and writing in my paper diary.

The biggest chore I did today was cook turkey burgers for my wife to take to work for meals. Not much happened today to carry me off into another world of excitement. I plan to go to bed early tonight. I stopped watching television at night pretty much. I have these secular books to read if I need something to do at night-

"Coin Locker Babies" a novel by Ryu Murakami ( I am flying through this novel and should be finish with it before the month comes to an end)

"Monkey's Uncle" a novel by Jenny Diski (I am almost finish reading this novel)

"Stories I Tell Myself: Growing Up with Hunter S. Thompson" a memoir by Juan F. Thompson

"Stars Seen In Person: Selected Journals" by the poet John Wieners

"Living on Paper: Letters From Iris Murdoch 1934-1995" Edited By Avril Horner & Anne Rowe

"Nabokov In America: On The Road To Lolita" biography by Robert Roper

"House Of Leaves" a novel by Mark Z. Danielewski

"The Good Apprentice" a novel by Iris Murdoch (I am almost finish reading this novel)

"City On Fire" a novel by Garth Risk Hallberg (I am half way through this 903 page novel)

"The Wallcreeper" a novel by Nell Zink

"Mislaid" a novel by Nell Zink

"Hunger Makes Me A Modern Girl" A Memoir by Carrie Brownstein

Lately I have been out of it due to the winter blues. I am spaced. Out somewhere else lately mentally.

I am still trying to read these religious books for morning worship-

"Moral Reflections on the Book of Job" Volume 1 Preface and Books 1-5) by Gregory the Great Translated by Brian Kerns

"Alone with God" by Dom Jean Leclercq

"The Pastor As Public Theologian: Reclaiming a Lost Vision" by Kevin Vanhoozer & Owen Strachan

"Theology and the Mirror of Scripture: A Mere Evangelical Account" by Kevin J. Vanhoozer & Daniel J. Treier

"Commentary On The Psalms" 2 volumes in 1 by J.J. Stewart Perowne

"Psalms 1-72" Old Testament VII Reformation Commentary On Scripture

I am always reading or meditating on the holy Scriptures. I love the Word of God the Bible.

So it is now in the snow flow 8:32 PM Tuesday night. I will close to wander my cell. "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5:8



A collection of 80 rare 17th century English Puritan works online free to read, many are from J.I. Packer's private library.

There are currently 80 Puritan authors in their collection, many of whose works were digitized from J. I. Packer’s private library.

  • Current Music
    Bob Mould 'Silver Age'