September 18th, 2015

the pain of representational insufficiency

It is 5:48 AM Friday morning in the flow of the Now or the It/everything is unified in Christ/He has reconciled All things/reality is now redeemed by the blood of the Lamb of God. I am up early because Carol and I went to bed early plus weird dreams drove me out of the bed this morning. So I got up to face It as one who has been made new in Christ Jesus. My heart cries out for the Living God.

Yesterday I left the house for Grand Rapids around 11 o'clock AM. I got into Grand Rapids around 11:40 AM. I decided to go to Baker Book House Christian book store first. So I went to Baker's and looked around for about thirty minutes. What amazed me while at Baker's is that none of the books I looked at meant anything to me. I remember the days when Baker Book House was like paradise to me. I am intellectually in a different place in my old age. I just want to walk with God and do not want any more intellectual knowledge. I want infused knowledge of God not book knowledge. I also must admit I have most of the current Christian books that I would buy at Baker's in my library. I buy a lot of Christian books from Amazon. I need to get saved.

After visiting Baker's I drove to East Town to visit Argos Used Bookstore to see if I could find a used book titled, "The White Goddess" by Robert Graves. So I drove to East Grand Rapids and visited Argos. The store did not have "The White Goddess" but I did buy two used books for our book collection-

"Coming From Behind" a novel by Howard Jacobson

"The Chateau" a novel by William Maxwell

After Argos I decided to head back towards the Grand Rapids Airport to visit Schuler Books & Music to see if they had a copy of "The White Goddess" by Graves and to look at their used books. When I got Schuler's it was around 2:10 PM. I had to pick up Carol around 3:30 PM. Schuler's did not have a copy of the "White Goddess" but I did buy one used book/novel-

"The Mighty Walzer" a novel by Howard Jacobson

At Schuler's I got a mocha to go and sat and read till 2:45 PM. I left and drove to the airport which took me about twenty minutes. When I got to the airport it was too early to pick up Carol so I found a parking lot and parked and listened to the new Low album and read from the novel "The Mighty Walzer". At 3:25 PM I left the parking lot and drove to the area where you pick up people/there was Carol waiting for me. I picked her up/she drove us home.

Now it is another day. Outside it is raining and Carol is sleeping. We went to bed early last night.


This morning Carol has to get her blood drawn. We will go grocery shopping sometime this morning. Our lives keep speeding to old age/home coming. Well I will close to wait it out. I should mention I did get in the mail yesterday a used book I had ordered titled, "Postmodern Sublime: Technology And American Writing From Mailer To Cyperpunk" by Joseph Tabbi.

I should add that yesterday Andy, Beth, Lou and baby Maggie had an appointment with a cardiologist/to make a long complex story short baby Maggie's heart is working too hard and will need a pediatric cardiac catherization soon.
  • Current Music
    Ryan Adams 'Live At Carnegie Hall'

our vision of reality is blurred because of the use of words

It is now in the flow 11:52 AM late Friday morning. Carol and I left the house around 9:15 AM to go grocery shopping. We were home from our food gather trip around 10:25 AM. Carol left to get her hair cut and to do errands/visit folks around 10:50 AM. After Carol left I wrote in my paper diary, cleaned the kitchen and fed the birds. I thought about taking a nap since I have been up since 5 o'clock AM, but I have too much on my mind. Instead of taking a nap I will sit in silence this afternoon/mental prayer/recollection.

I have not read any of my books this morning due to having so much on my mind. I suppose I am adjusting to having my wife home after her being gone for over two weeks.

I did get out this morning a book titled, "'Return to Me' A Biblical Theology of Repentance" by Mark J. Boda, but I could not get into it so I put it away on my main study desk. I suppose I am tired and my mind does not want to focus.

I had a ton of stuff I thought about writing this afternoon, but I do not feel the inner freedom to write it ALL down so I will close to sit in contemplative silence. These words of the Apostle Paul come to my mind, "For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body" Romans 8:22,23
  • Current Music
    Destroyer 'Poison Season'