August 31st, 2015

the center of which has been abandoned by the ego

It is in the flow 6:50 AM Monday morning. I got up around 6:15 AM. I got up because I heard Rudy wanting to go outside to go to the bathroom. So I got up let him out the front door. It is suppose to be a sunny day today. I plan to mow our lawn today and put away the hoses. There is no need any longer to water plant growth, so I will put away the water hoses for another year. The seasons go by so quickly as you get older.

Yesterday I got a hair cut and my beard trimmed around 11 o'clock AM. I was home from Great Clips around 11:15 AM. My wife got home from church around 11:45 AM. We had lunch and the day slowly went by. Carol went to bed around 3 o'clock PM since she had to work one more shift before being off 27 days. She leaves tomorrow for Arizona. I spent the afternoon wandering the house and reading from these two books-

"Anti-Odeipus Capitalism and Schizophrenia" by Gilles Deleuze and Felix Guattari

"Stories In An Almost Classical Mode" by Harold Brodkey

Carol got up around 6 o'clock PM. She left for work around 7:50 PM. I spent the evening messing with our main computer and reading, "Stories In An Almost Classical Mode" by Harold Brodkey. I read late into the night and now it is another day to see what happens.

These days I am basically waiting for my wife to leave for the Southwest. I am wondering how I will do being alone for 17 days. I am not sure what I will do. I took out money out of my Edwards Jones account in case I decide to go places while my wife is far away. I might visit different independent bookstores while my wife is gone. I might go for long walks at different parks along Lake Michigan/take pictures of the Lake. I might go out for dinner someplace nice and romantic. I might also just stay home and wait for it to be over. I never know how I will react to certain things since I have discovered over the years there places deep within us that we are not conscious of/dark places where pain and chaos can spring/irrupt up and take us for a journey into the unknown.

I always have here at home/my cell books, music and solitude to protect me from the surrounding chaos/here I can seek the Lord in a contemplative state/read the Bible and sit in silence/shut down the house and wait for the Light to appear.

Well I will close to makes a fresh pot of coffee and write in my paper diary. There is no way of escape.

"[17] For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
[18] While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal." Second Corinthians 4:17,18
  • Current Music
    YOB 'Clearing The Path To Ascend'

Stephen Jay Gould

I found today another book by Stephen Jay Gould to ADD to my Stephen Jay Gould collection titled, "Hen's Teeth And Horse's Toes: Further Reflections In Natural History". Below is a list of Gould's books in our library.

"Questioning The Millennium: A Rationalist Guide To A Precisely Arbitrary Countdown" by Stephen Jay Gould

"Hen's Teeth And Horse's Toes: Further Reflections In Natural History" by Stephen Jay Gould

"Bully for Brontosaurus: Reflections in Natural History" by Stephen Jay Gould

"The Panda's Thumb: More Reflections In Natural History" by Stephen Jay Gould

"An Urchin In The Storm: Essays about Books and Ideas" by Stephen Jay Gould

"The Flamingo's Smile: Reflections in Natural History" by Stephen Jay Gould

"The Mismeasure of Man" by Stephen Jay Gould

"I Hare Landed: The End Of A Beginning In Natural History" by Stephen Jay Gould

I did not do much after visiting thrift stores this morning. When I got home from my travels I ate lunch and then mow our lawn and chopped down the rest of my dead wildflowers.

I am wasted so I will close to drift into the darkness. Tomorrow is September 1, 2015. We will soon be on the other side. There is no way of escape.

Stephen Jay Gould

"[1] For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
[2] For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven:
[3] If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked.
[4] For we that are in this tabernacle do groan, being burdened: not for that we would be unclothed, but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life.
[5] Now he that hath wrought us for the selfsame thing is God, who also hath given unto us the earnest of the Spirit.
[6] Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord:
[7] (For we walk by faith, not by sight:)" Second Corinthians 5:1-7
  • Current Music
    Crystal Castles '(III)'