March 4th, 2015

where is the corn?

It is 9:38 AM Wednesday morning here in West Michigan. It is another cold winter day. I am longing for Spring time. It is too bad it does not get warm here till May. Usually March and April are cold months here in West Michigan. We get the cold winds blowing off frozen Lake Michigan throughout the Spring months.

I got up this morning around 7:45 AM. I am glad I slept in this morning since lately I have not been getting enough sleep. Being depressed and over tired is a big bummer.

I got up made coffee and oatmeal. I ate my oatmeal while messing with our main computer this morning. Carol called around 8:35 AM to be picked up. I brought her home and then I wrote in my paper diary about my glamorous life. After writing in my paper diary I fed the birds and now I am writing in my blogs. Carol has gone to bed for the day. I plan to leave the house at 10 o'clock AM to go pick-up a prescription and to visit nearby thrift stores in search of used books to add to my book hoard.

Not much else to report this morning. Last night I mainly read a book titled, "My Struggle" Book One by Karl Ove Knausgaard. I went to bed around 10:50 PM, now it is another day to wait for the Second Coming of Christ Jesus.

Right now I am going through a bone crushing depression. All one can do is pray for grace.
  • Current Music
    The Mars Volta 'Amputechture'

the promise of a sinless immorality

It is 12:17 PM Wednesday afternoon. From now on it is all down hill.

I left the house this morning to pick up a prescription at a local pharmacy. While out running around I visited two thrift stores to look at their used books. I found no used books worth adding to our library this morning. Sometimes one comes out empty handed. I was home by 10:57 AM from my errands. I wrote in my blogs and read my books.

I have been reading this afternoon "My Struggle" Book One by Karl Ove Knausgaard. Not much else to report so I will close. As I write these words I can feel myself falling asleep. I am always sleepy during the afternoon hours.

I was wondering today if I have any right to blame the Church for my inner pain. It did not want this kind of life. I wanted to be a minister, but the Church did not want me. Is that an excuse for dropping out of the world? It is all beyond me. I suppose I will close to feel wasted.

woodpeckers
downy woodpecker and two hairy woodpeckers

downy woodpecker

hairy woodpecker
  • Current Music
    of Montreal 'Aureate Gloom'

Luluc



Things Behind The Sun lyrics

Please beware of them that stare
They’ll only smile to see you while
Your time away

And once you’ve seen what they have been
To win the earth just won’t seem worth

Your night or your day

Who’ll hear what I say?

Look around you find the ground
Is not so far from where you are
But don’t be too wise

For down below they never grow
They’re always tired and charms are hired
From out of their eyes

Never surprise

Take your time and you’ll be fine
And say a prayer for people there
Who live on the floor
And if you see what’s meant to be
Don’t name the day or try to say
It happened before

Don’t be shy you learn to fly
And see the sun when day is done
If only you see

Just what you are beneath a star
That came to stay one rainy day
In autumn for free

Yes, be what you’ll be

Please beware of them that stare
They’ll only smile to see you while
Your time away

And once you’ve seen what they have been
To win the earth just won’t seem worth
Your night or your day

Who’ll hear what I say

Open up the broken cup
Let goodly sin and sunshine in
Yes that’s today
And open wide the hymns you hide
You’ll find renown while people frown
At things that you say
But say what you’ll say

About the farmers and the fun
And the things behind the sun
And the people round your head
Who say everything’s been said
And the movement in your brain
Sends you out into the rain
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

kiss my scars

It is in the flow of this day 4:09 PM Wednesday. I have had thus far a normal day of life. I am thankful for our comfortable middle class life. We are richly bless. Today I went to a local grocery store to pick up a prescription and before I did I walked around the grocery store looking at all the food and asking myself if there was anything I wanted to buy to take home and eat. There was nothing, but it amazed me that I could buy anything I wanted in the store and eat it. I have the money to buy food, which is amazing in of itself. We are not dirt poor Carol and I. Carol and I have no lack. We are both full. It is a blessing to not be empty of material and spiritual blessings. Our lives are overflowing with God’s goodness.

Today when not wandering the house or watching the birds by the bird feeder I have been reading a book titled, “My Struggle” Book One by Karl Ove Knausgaard. I am almost finished with Book One and plan to start Book Two of “My Struggle” immediately.

Carol goes back to work tonight, so I will be alone once again tonight. There is nothing on television tonight so I might just read and take a trip to Africa. I have tomorrow to recover from a trip to Africa.

Nothing came in the mail for me today. I have a CD by Leviathan titled, 'Scar Sighted' coming in the mail this week.

Well I suppose I will close, I thought about writing about my childhood, but it is all too painful and perverse. I lived a wicked life when I was growing up into manhood. I have nothing to be proud of when looking back at my youth. When I was young I was a slave to my lusts, I am thankful the Lord has set me free from the slavery of sin. I am thankful that because the Lord Jesus died on the Cross my sins have been washed away by His atoning blood.
  • Current Music
    Leviathan 'Massive Conspiracy Against All Life'

And can it be that I should gain An interest in the Savior’s blood?

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

’Tis mystery all: th’Immortal dies:
Who can explore His strange design?
In vain the firstborn seraph tries
To sound the depths of love divine.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,
Let angel minds inquire no more.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;
Let angel minds inquire no more.

He left His Father’s throne above
So free, so infinite His grace—
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam’s helpless race:
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Still the small inward voice I hear,
That whispers all my sins forgiven;
Still the atoning blood is near,
That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

http://www.hymntime.com/tch/htm/a/c/a/acanitbe.htm
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative