February 13th, 2015

dance music for zombies

It is 10:15 AM Friday morning in the flow of rapid decay. Outside it is ice cold and gray.

Carol woke me up at 3:30 AM this morning to tell me good-bye. She left this morning for the Grand Rapids Airport to fly to Arizona to visit our daughter Bethany, her husband Andy and baby Louisa Mae till next week Saturday. I tried to get back to sleep when my wife left but I couldn't so I got up. Carol had already made coffee so I got a cup of coffee and made myself a bowl of oatmeal. After eating oatmeal I wrote in my paper diary and then messed with our main computer. Around 5 o'clock AM I went back to bed and got woke up at 6:05 by our telephone ringing. Carol had called to tell me she had made it to the airport and was about to board her plane flight. After talking to Carol I went back to bed and slept till 8:05 AM. I got up cleaned the kitchen and fed the birds. Next I got dressed and went to get suet for our woodpeckers and then came home. I put suet out for our woodpeckers and then I wrote some more in my paper diary. I have been reading for morning worship "George Orwell Diaries".

I have no plans for the hours ahead of me. It is bitter cold outside with snow showers.

Last night Carol went to bed around 9 o'clock PM.

music The Future Sound Of London 'Teachings From The Electronic Brain' [The Best Of FSOLJ]

I got up around 9:30 PM and read "Orwell: The Life" biography by David J. Taylor till 10 o'clock PM. I watched a television show till 11 o'clock PM and went to bed. Now it is another day to seek the Lord Jesus Christ. Time to get ready for the end of the old creation. I should read something spiritual today because it is quiet and I am not going anywhere special. I have a mansion just over the hilltop.

Well I suppose I will close to drift with the flow of Time or Reality energy.

downy woodpecker
downy woodpecker
  • Current Music

Revisions of 100 facts about me old diary entry

I was looking over that entry of 100 Facts about my life that I need to revise since I wrote that entry many years ago. I usually post old entries about my past when I get new LiveJournal friends, because I want these folks to know where I am coming from.

I will post revisions this morning on some of those hundred life facts.

#67. we moved to Houston Texas and to my internship at Covenant PCA some of the worse years of my life

The reason why these years were some of the worse was that I gradually realized there was no American Dream. I had these crazy spiritual daydreams many years ago of being an ordained gospel minister preaching the Gospel and supporting our family. Well all went South. The American dream turned into nightmare. I realize there was no Church to call up on the telephone for help. There was no Church to come to our aid as I slowly sunk in the mud of despair.

At the same time our years in Texas had some bright spots like me coming into the History of Christian Spirituality. I learned about the Christian contemplative life while living in Houston Texas.

#68. terrible time in Texas

When I was doing my ministerial internship at Covenant PCA in Houston Texas it was extremely stressful because I did not fit. I could not conform to the model of a professional Presbyterian minister ministering among professional people. Back in those days I had a beard and wore old suits. I read Beat literature and the Catholic mystics, which was at odds with conservative Presbyterianism.

#69. we moved back to Michigan to settle down and raise our three children 13 years ago.

As of today I think we have lived in Holland Michigan going on 23 years (July 1991). We moved to Holland 23 years ago to raise our three children. My wife grew up in Holland Michigan. Carol my wife grew up in a traditional family here in Holland MI. Carol's mother was a housewife, never worked outside the home. Carol's Dad worked in a factory for over 40 years and died in his 60′s a number of years ago. Carol has two brothers and a sister. Carol grew up in Holland and has been a professing Christian since she was a girl. Carol grew up in the Christian Reformed Church. My wife has been a professional nurse for over 40 years.

When Carol and I had children I wanted them to have a stable Christian upbringing. I did not want our kids to go through what I went through as a child and a teenager. Holland Michigan we thought would be a good place to raise our kids. Also Carol's mother was widow and Carol wanted to be near her as she grew older. Carol's mother passed away a couple of years ago. Carol's other sister Barb is married and lives in the state of New York.

#71. I do not like my job but I do like being free to be myself

Read what I wrote earlier this morning about my job at the Hamilton Farm Bureau. I think I started working at the Hamilton Farm Bureau-Egg Division unloading trucks around 1992 or 1993 and got fired June 2007. One thing I learned when I was in the work force is that there is nothing over the hill top. Meaning all there is is now Today and not tomorrow. When I was working the guys I worked with were always talking about the next better paying job etc. . . I always said to these co-workers daydreams, All there is is right now. There is nothing else so you might as well swallow your poison now and not dream of some better tomorrow."

I suppose I enjoy being myself. Not saying I am happy with everything I am as a man, but one has to come to place of acceptance of who one is. I am not going to go to the grave hating who I am. I pray constantly to be more Christ-like.

#76. I want to visit Spain someday and visit the places where St. John of the Cross lived and wrote

I realized these last couple of years I hate flying in jet planes and I do not want to go anywhere but the New Creation

#77. I wish I could read and speak Spanish so I could read St. John of the Cross in his own language

I like to still be able to speak Spanish and I still read the writings of St. John of the Cross. But I would say today I am into the New Testament, especially the Pauline Epistles. I love the apostle Paul of the New Testament. I am into New Covenant spirituality or New Testament Ethics.

#80. I consider myself a Reformed Evangelical mystic Jesus Freak

I would describe myself today as a evangelical Christian.

#84. I drink coke and rarely anything else

I rarely these days drink soda pop. I drink water and coffee these days.

Well I will close to wander.

music: Vallenfyre 'Splinters'

10:31 a.m. - 2014-06-15

100 Facts old diary entry

  • Current Music

Thomas a Kempis "Imitation of Christ"

Chapter 42

On the Wonderful Effect of Divine Love

THE DISCIPLE. O Heavenly Father, Father of my Lord Jesus Christ, blessed be Your Name for ever, for You have deigned to consider me, the poorest of Your servants. Father of mercies and God of all comfort,(2 Cor. 1:3) I thank You that, unworthy as I am, You sometimes refresh me with Your consolation. Blessing and glory to You, with Your sole-begotten Son and with the Holy Spirit the Comforter, now and through endless ages. You are my glory,( Ps. 3:3) and the joy of my heart;(Ps. 119:111) for You are my hope, and my refuge in time of trouble.(Ps 59:16)

As yet my love is weak, and my virtue imperfect, and I have great need of Your strength and comfort. Therefore, visit me often, I pray, and instruct me in Your holy laws. Set me free from evil passions, and heal my heart from all disorderly affections; that, healed and cleansed in spirit, I may grow able to love, strong to endure, and steadfast to persevere.

Love is a mighty power, a great and complete good; Love alone lightens every burden, and makes the rough places smooth. It bears every hardship as though it were nothing, and renders all bitterness sweet and acceptable. The love of Jesus is noble, and inspires us to great deeds; it moves us always to desire perfection. Love aspires to high things,and is held back by nothing base. Love longs to be free, a stranger to every worldly desire, lest its inner vision become dimmed, and lest worldly self-interest hinder it or ill fortune cast it down. Nothing is sweeter than love, nothing stronger, nothing higher, nothing wider, nothing more pleasant, nothing fuller or better in heaven or earth; for love is born of God,( I John 4:7)and can rest only in God, above all created things.

Love flies, runs, and leaps for joy; it is free and unrestrained. Love gives all for all, resting in One who is highest above all things, from whom every good flows and proceeds. Love does not regard the gifts, but turns to the Giver of all good gifts. Love knows no limits, but ardently transcends all bounds. Love feels no burden, takes no account of toil, attempts things beyond its strength; love sees nothing as impossible, for it feels able to achieve all things. Love therefore does great things; it is strange and effective; while he who lacks love faints and fails.

Love is watchful, and while resting, never sleeps; weary, it is never exhausted; imprisoned, it is never in bonds; alarmed, it is never afraid; like a living flame and a burning torch, it surges upward and surely surmounts every obstacle. Whoever loves God knows well the sound of His voice. A loud cry in the ears of God is that burning love of the soul which exclaims, `My God and my love, You are all mine, and I am Yours.'Deepen Your love in me, O Lord, that I may learn in my inmost heart how sweet it is to love, to be dissolved, and to plunge myself into Your love. Let Your love possess and raise me above myself, with a fervour and wonder beyond imagination. Let me sing the song of love. (Isa. 5:1) Let me follow You, my Beloved, into the heights. Let my soul spend itselfin Your praise, rejoicing for love. Let me love You more than myself, and myself only for Your own sake. Let me love all men who truly love You, as the law of love commands, which shines out from You.

Love is swift, pure, tender, joyful, and pleasant. Love is strong, patient, faithful, prudent, long-suffering, vigorous, and never self-seeking.(I Cor.13:4) For when a man is self-seeking he abandons love. Love is watchful, humble, and upright; Love is not fickle and sentimental, nor is it intent on vanities. It is sober, pure, steadfast, quiet, and guarded in all the senses. Love is submissive and obedient to superiors, mean and contemptible in its own sight, devoted and thankful to God, trusting and hoping in Him even when not enjoying His sweetness; for none can live in love without suffering.

Whoever is not prepared to endure everything, and to stand firmly by the will of the Beloved, is not worthy to be called a lover. A lover must willingly accept every hardship and bitterness for the sake of his Beloved, and must never desert Him because of adversity.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

Platte River

It is in the flow 1:39 PM Friday afternoon. I left the house this morning to visit Echo Thrift store. I try if possible to visit all the thrift stores in the Holland area. I usually visit these thrift stores each month-

Shelby's Place - Harbor Humane Society thrift store

Community Action House thrift store

Bibles For Mexico thrift store

Goodwill thrift store

Salvation Army thrift store

Holland Rescue Mission thrift store

North Side Bibles For Mexico thrift store

Echo thrift store

Ditto's thrift store

All these thrift stores raise money to clothe, feed, and educate those in need.

I find most of my used books at the Salvation Army thrift store. I do get used books from the Herrick Public Library used books store when I volunteer there on Saturdays from 10 AM till 1 PM.

This morning at Echo thrift store I bought these two used books-

"Platte River" three novellas by Rick Bass (I have two other books by Rick Bass in our library, "The Lost Grizzlies" and "The Book Of Yaak".)

"Late Harvest: Rural American Writing By Edward Abbey, Wendell Berry, Carolyn Chute, Annie Dillard, William Gass, Garrison Keillor, Bobbie Ann Mason, Wallace Stegner, and Others" Edited by David R. Pichaske

I got home from visiting Echo's around 12:30 PM. I ate lunch and received a phone call from my wife telling me she was now in Phoenix Arizona waiting for Beth and Louisa to pick her up at the airport.

So the day goes by. I have been wandering the house, watching the birds, and reading "George Orwell Diaries". Not much else happening.

  • Current Music
    Torche 'Harmonicraft'