January 25th, 2015

put on a party hat as you go out into the dead world

It is 10:29 AM Sunday morning. Here it is cold and gray. It is suppose to snow today.

I have had thus far a normal morning. I got up this morning around 7:05 AM to find my wife having morning devotions in the living room. It is blessing having a wife who fears the Lord. I got a cup of coffee and then sat in the dining room waking up to another day in my life. Next I messed with our main computer and then had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. I remember before I went on a diet I would have two eggs, sausage, toast and coffee for breakfast, now I have a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. I also no longer eat cereal or bagels with cream cheese. I do not know why I continue to deprive myself of delicious food. I must be punishing myself for being middle class.

Carol went to church this morning. I have not gone to church in eight years. I think about going to church, but then I feel extremely anxious inside at the thought so here I sit. I do not see going to church as having any real impact in my life. I am living in the holy flow of God life each moment I take a breath. I am in union with the Risen Christ all the time. I am a worshiper of the Lord Jesus Christ. I am a son of God.

I have been reading this morning from these books-

"Moral Reflections on the Book of Job" Volume 1 "Preface and Books 1-5" by Gregory the Great

"Language For God In Patristic Tradition: Wrestling With Biblical Anthropomorphism" by Mark Sheridan

"We Believe in One God" Volume 1 Ancient Christian Doctrine/Edited by Gerald L. Bray

Last night I watched television till 9 o'clock PM. Carol went to bed and I did nothing till 10:30 PM when I went to bed. I slept poorly last night again. I sleep better when I sleep alone, but I do not like sleeping alone. I have been sleeping with Carol going on 36 years.

I have nothing to do today. Carol usually gets home from church around 11:25 AM. We will eat food and then drift through the rest of the day. Carol went downtown this morning to walk and to get a bunch of Sunday newspapers (she also bought another children's book) to read throughout the week. Existence keeps speeding by. I will close to face it. I already fed the birds so that chore is completed for the day.
  • Current Music
    Ryan Adams self-titled

eternity itself is effectively infused into our minds

"35. When Sacred Scripture speaks to those who are born in time, it is fitting that it should speak in the language of time, condescending to its limits and raising its standards at the same time. While it reveals something eternal in the words of time, it gradually coaxes those familiar with time to what is eternal. Moreover, although unrecognized, eternity itself is effectively infused into our minds while they are gratified by familiar words. Why do we wonder if God does not immediately reveal his unchangeable nature to our human minds in the Bible? In the aftermath of the solemn celebration of his resurrection, the incorruptible body he had resumed became known by means of certain gradual approaches.

Luke indeed informs us, and it is from him we learn, that Jesus first sent angels to those seeking him in the tomb; later, when the disciples were talking about him on the road, he did, in fact, appear to them, but they did not recognize him; it was after his taking the time to exhort them that he showed himself to them in the breaking of the bread and they recognized him. At last, entering suddenly, he showed himself so they could not only recognize him but even touch him. Up to this point the disciples' hearts were still weak as regards their perception of so deep a mystery; therefore, the Lord had arranged to guide them little by little, so that they should seek and find, grown strong by the finding, and in this way hold fast to what they had learned. We are led to the knowledge of eternity not quickly but by gradually adding to the words and concepts as though by short steps, and we are told spiritually that something happened one day in God's sight and that he who is timeless even perceived time." pg. 146,147 Gregory the Great "Moral Reflections on the Book of Job"

"[35] And they told what things were done in the way, and how he was known of them in breaking of bread.
[36] And as they thus spake, Jesus himself stood in the midst of them, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.
[37] But they were terrified and affrighted, and supposed that they had seen a spirit.
[38] And he said unto them, Why are ye troubled? and why do thoughts arise in your hearts?
[39] Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have.
[40] And when he had thus spoken, he shewed them his hands and his feet.
[41] And while they yet believed not for joy, and wondered, he said unto them, Have ye here any meat?
[42] And they gave him a piece of a broiled fish, and of an honeycomb.
[43] And he took it, and did eat before them.
[44] And he said unto them, These are the words which I spake unto you, while I was yet with you, that all things must be fulfilled, which were written in the law of Moses, and in the prophets, and in the psalms, concerning me.
[45] Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the scriptures,
[46] And said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behoved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day:
[47] And that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.
[48] And ye are witnesses of these things.
[49] And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high.
[50] And he led them out as far as to Bethany, and he lifted up his hands, and blessed them.
[51] And it came to pass, while he blessed them, he was parted from them, and carried up into heaven.
[52] And they worshipped him, and returned to Jerusalem with great joy:
[53] And were continually in the temple, praising and blessing God. Amen." Luke 24:35-53
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

bohemian squalor

It is now in the flow 6:04 PM Sunday evening. Another day has gone by without telling me exactly why. It was another peaceful day. I am thankful for peaceful days. I think of all the people in the world who live lives full of mental chaos. It must be horrible to live lives where you are out of control. To be a slave to your lusts and to never know inner peace/contentment/happiness/the joy of the Holy Ghost. I remember these words of the apostle Paul, "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" Phil. 4:6,7.

I spent the afternoon hours reading from a book titled, "Language For God In Patristic Tradition" by Mark Sheridan. I laid down for a nap around 2 o'clock PM and woke up around 4 o'clock PM. I took my daily hot shower and then got out to read a book titled, "Journals 1952-2000" by Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.. I read and then wrote in my paper diary for the last time today.

Carol got up and then got ready to go back to Covenant PCA. Carol mentioned me today she is planning on driving over to Grand Rapids in the morning to visit Emily and Josephine at their new apartment. Emily has to be there for the Internet connection guy to install internet service for them. I do not plan to go with Carol since I see no reason to. Carol has to come home immediately because she works tomorrow night. If Carol was off tomorrow then I would go because then we could go out for lunch someplace and visit bookstores. Since Carol works tomorrow night there is no time to hang-out in Grand Rapids after visiting Emily and Josie.

Today is our oldest son's birthday, Caleb is now 34 years old. He is suppose to fly into Grand Rapids this week from Boston, but maybe the bad winter storm hitting the Northeast might prevent that from happening.

I do not know what I will do tonight. I suppose I will close to drift. I will go sit in the dark till Carol gets home from church. I have no desire to conquer the world. I remember the words of the Lord Jesus Christ to His disciples before His exodus, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world" John 16:33.
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    contemplative contemplative

Journals 1973

"February 5
We arrived back in New York in time for Norman Mailer's 50th birthday party at the Four Seasons. In an act of monumental impertinence, he decided to charge his guests $50 per couple. We declined to go, but then Jean Campbell sent us some tickets. The restaurant was crowded with a wild variety of people-from the Javitses and the editors of Time and Newsweek through Jessica Mitford and Lord and Lady Melchett to a flock of hippies and ex-hippies. The high point was supposed to be a speech in which Norman was billed as making a world-shaking announcement. But the birthday boy, evidently trusting to charisma and afflatus, gave a most disconnected series of remarks, beginning with a dirty joke that turned off some of the audience and concluding with a proposal for a "people's FBI" and a "people's CIA" to investigate the government's FBI and CIA. Among other things, this proposal was some years late. The FBI and CIA are far from sacrosanct institutions now, and it requires no particular audacity to attack them. The speech was a disaster, and we left as speedily as possible. Norman is a most gifted writer who should stick to writing. He is a victim of a society that consumes writers not as writers but as public personalities; it must be added that he is a self-chosen victim, and only half the blame attaches to the society.

April 28

Teddy, who was confronting an interview with Scotty Reston Thursday afternoon on the Kennedy legacy after ten years, wanted to have a talk about all this, so we had an early breakfast Thursday morning before I left to catch a plane for Palm Beach. Our conversation was almost entirely about the past rather than the future. There were some digressions into the present, however, when we saw the headlines in the Washington Post underneath large pictures of John Mitchell, bluff and unctuous, and those two all-American boys John Dean and Jeb Stuart Magruder. According to the story, Magruder had now implicated Mitchell and Dean in the Watergate affair. This gave us intense pleasure. There is something splendidly comic in the disclosure that this most righteous and moralistic of all administrations, after five years of going on about its supreme devotion to law and order, was really a collection of third-rate crooks, all beginning now to rat on each other. It is the ultimate impertinence on Nixon's part, after months of denial and cover-up, now to cast himself as the zealous investigator who, as he said on television. Tuesday, was intent only on finding out the truth. Ted cannot believe that he did not know about and approve the campaign of espionage and sabotage, nor can I."

from "Journals 1952-2000" by Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr..
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