September 17th, 2014

no one is able fix the eyes of his spirit on the ray of indescribable light that is God

It is 9:31 AM Wednesday morning in the flow of my ordinary life. I am nothing special. I am a wandering pilgrim. I remember these words of the apostle Peter, "Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to the pilgrims of the Dispersion in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, in sanctification of the Spirit, for obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ" 1 Peter 1:1,2.

I am down in the lower level writing on my old lap top. I am think of getting us a new main computer soon. Our main computer is clogged and is super slow. I could just use our new lap top but I like a desk top computer for general use. Next month I start getting social security money so I can buy a new computer with some of the money. I like writing down here because our main library is down here plus I have my old lap top on a large fold out table. On this table I can spread out books that I plan to quote from in my blogs. Upstairs our main computer is located on a small desk top that does not permit me to spread out books.

It is another nice sunny day so I plan to go visit thrift stores this morning.

Last night I read my books and watched another segment of the PBS documentary on the Roosevelt's.

Rudy woke me up around 3 o'clock AM in the morning to go to the bathroom. After he came back in the house I did not put him back into his crated but let him sleep in the living room. Around 4:50 AM I heard Rudy in our bedroom and when I woke up there was a large pool of brown liquid dog shit by our bed! So I had to get up and clean up the mess. I had to clean our carpet etc. . . I never got back to bed so right now I feel extremely tired. I told Rudy his days are numbered with us. If Rudy starts doing weird stuff he is going down. Our last dog Mack we put down when he started losing his mind, he was 13 years old. Rudy is going on 11 years old. I do not want another dog after Rudy. I want a house free of dog smell. I want to be free from caring for a pet.

This morning when I got up I made a pot of coffee and then sat in the living room dozing in an easy chair. I got up got a cup of coffee and then messed with our main computer. Next I wrote in my paper diary and read till my wife got home from work around 8:35 AM. Carol has gone to bed for the day. She works tonight then she is off four days.

I have been reading this morning from these two books-

"Gregory the Great On the Song of Songs " Translation and Introduction by Mark DelCogliano

"On Contemplation" by Guigo De Ponte

Well I suppose I will close to drift. No way of escape.

old diary entry glorycloud
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

quest for the lost city

It is 1:20 PM Wednesday afternoon in my modern life. It is not a warm day. A very cloudy day outside. I did find the courage to leave our house this morning to visit thrift stores and to go get office supplies.

I found these used books today at thrift stores to add to our book collection-

"Desert Notes: Reflections In The Eye Of A Raven" & "River Notes: The Dance Of Herons" one paperback Nature writings by Barry Lopez (One of my favorite books was written by Lopez titled, "Arctic Dreams".)

Barry Lopez

"Gertrude & Claudius" a novel by John Updike (I collect the writings of Updike.)

"A History of Modern France-Volume 1: 1715-1799" by Alfred Cobban

"A History of Modern France-Volume 2: 1799-1871" by Alfred Cobban

"I Will Fear No Evil" a novel by Robert A. Heinlein (I recently found used Robert A. Heinlein's famous novel "Stranger in a Strange Land" at a thrift shop.)

"The Age Of Constantine The Great" by Jacob Burckhardt [Translated by Moses Hadas] (I have already in our library two books by Burckhardt. Burckhardt wrote a famous book titled, "The Civilization Of The Renaissance In Italy".)

Jacob Burckhardt

"Quest For The Lost City: A True Life Adventure" by Dana & Ginger Lamb

"King Leopold's Ghost: A Story Of Greed, Terror, And Heroism In Colonial Africa" by Adam Hochschild

"Half A Life" a novel by V. S. Naipaul (I collect the writings of Naipaul. I already have this novel by him, I bought it to give away.)

"Dr. Spock: An American Life" biography by Thomas Maier

"Father Melancholy's Daughter" a novel by Gail Godwin (I recently started collecting the writings of Godwin.)
  • Current Music
    Cloud Nothings "Here And Nowhere Else"

and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come

It is now in the flow of my life 4:03 PM late Wednesday afternoon. I laid down for awhile since I got up this morning around 4:50 AM. I woke up feeling cold and sick to my stomach. So I got up to face existence. I am down in the lower level drinking coffee and reading "On Contemplation" by Guigo De Ponte. I do not know anyone who contemplates. I tell myself if Carol dies before me I will sell everything and go live someplace isolated and live a contemplative life. I will be a old contemplative hermit. I am sure I will die first and not my wife. It is wonderful to grow old together. I would hate to grow old alone. Carol and I are now grandparents to two baby girls. I wonder how our grandchildren are doing today. I wonder how Caleb and Emily are doing with their week old baby Josephine Joy? How is Louisa doing today. All I can do is pray for our children and grandchildren. Put all our loved ones in the hands of the Lord Jesus. It is a blessing to have as grandparents those who love to pray to the Lord Jesus for their loved ones and mankind. I remember these words of the writer to the Hebrews, "For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore comes boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need" Hebrews 4:15,16.

So the day goes by normal. Tonight I suppose I will watch once again the PBS documentary on the Roosevelt's. Tomorrow I cover for someone at the Herrick Public Library used bookstore from 10 AM till 1 PM. Time will go by like it always does.

I will close with a quote from "On Contemplation" by Guigo De Ponte.

"The third division is experiential knowledge of divine sweetness, which directs all one's powers toward divine contemplation, delighting eagerly not only in known things but in unknown things. This type of wisdom is what Augustine had in mind when he said, "Sometimes you send me into an unaccustomed affectedness sweeter than any I know."

Only this second, sapiential degree of alluring meditation, which makes the spirit fertile, tranquil, refreshed, and joyful, can lead from the first to the third degree [of speculative contemplation]. And this second degree is most profound and hidden, for its wisdom truly is drawn from the hidden depths. This second degree, which remains unknown to the extent that it has not been experienced, employs hidden exercises to draw the gift of wisdom from the Holy Spirit's penetrable depths in order to form and reform itself. It is like drinking a good wine straight from the cask of someone who has just let you into the cellar where he has kept good wine for himself. Thus the godly spirit, when she arrives jubilantly and exultant at this stage, sweetly sings and copiously expresses, or wishes to express, her thanks. In the words of the Canticle, The king brought me into his wine cellar (Ca 2:4) and into heavenly wisdom or into knowledge of supernal joys-by the grace of contemplation." pg. 231,232 Guigo De Ponte
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

wounded by love

It is now in the flow of my life 4:40 PM Wednesday evening. I am down in the lower level reading my books. I wanted to quote something that has been on my mind for awhile. I want to quote something I read in a book titled, "Gregory the Great On the Song of Songs Translated and Introduction by Mark DelCogliano.

"Song 2:5b (LXX). I have been wounded by love.

W15. In two ways Almighty God wounds those whom he is concerned to restore to health. Sometimes he whips them outwardly on the flesh in order to cure the poison of sins. Sometimes, even if the outward blows seem to have stopped, he inflicts wounds inwardly because he strikes the hardness of our mind with desire for him. Yet by striking he heals because, when we have been pierced by the spear of fear for him, he recalls us to an upright frame of mind. For our hearts are sickly when stricken with no love for God, when unmindful of the woefulness of our pilgrimage, when apathetic with hardly any feeling at all toward the weakness of our neighbor. But they are wounded that they may be healed because God strikes unfeeling minds with the darts of love for him and soon makes them full of feeling through the burning heat of charity. Hence here the Bride says: I have been wounded by love. For the soul that is sickly and in the state of this exile lies prostrate in blind security has neither seen God nor sought to see him. But when she is struck by the darts of his love, she is 'wounded' in her innermost recesses with tender devotion, burns with desire for contemplation, and marvelously is restored to life through her wound, though once she lays dead in health. She yearns, she pants, and she desires to see him whom she fled.

She burns with desire for him. At present she yearns for nothing that is in the world, considers the length of the present life as punishment, hastens to depart and to find rest with a loving embrace in the vision of the heavenly Bridegroom. And so, a mind that is already in this state receives no consolation from the present life but in the very depths of her being sighs, burns, is anxious for him who she loves. The very health of her body becomes of little worth because she is pierced by the wound of love. Yet sickly is the heart which does not know the pain of this wound. But when she has already started to long for heavenly desire and to feel the wound of love, the soul which was once sick from health becomes healthier from a wound. Thus by being struck she recovers her health, recalled to the secure state of inward repose by the overturning of her self-love.

Anyone who has been able to reach for the truth burns with this love and desire. For this reason David said: My soul has thirsted for the strong living God; when shall I come and appear before the face of God? [Ps 41:3]. He warns us for the same reason: Always seek his face [Ps 104:4]. For the same reason Isaiah the Prophet said: My soul desired you in the night but in the morning I shall keep watch for you deep within my heart with my spirit [Isa 26:9]. And so, for the same reason the holy Church says to him: I have been wounded by love [Song 2:5]. Bearing in her heart the wound of love caused by the heat of desire for him, she is right to reach for health from the vision of the Physician." pg. 197, 198 Gregory the Great