August 7th, 2014

naturally seeking out her primordial origin

It is 8:45 AM Thursday morning in the flow. I do not remember when we got up this morning. I am in a morning fog right now. I do remember Carol and I getting up. I made blueberry pancakes for breakfast. I remember making the pancakes and everyone eating them. I then recall cleaning the kitchen and then messing with our main computer. All around me was Carol and Beth caring for Louisa. Louisa demands constant attention when she is not sleeping. I can see Beth being exhausted at the end of the day because Lou demands constant attention. I do not remember if it was exhausting for Carol and I when our children were babies.

Now I am down in the lower level writing in my blogs. I do not know what Beth, Carol and Lou are going to do today. I plan to do nothing but rest.

I have been mainly reading these days "Carthusian Spirituality: The Writings Of Hugh Of Balma And Guigo De Ponte" [The Classics of Western Spirituality] "The Roads To Zion Mourn" by Hugh of Balma.

Last night I read and went to bed around 9:30 PM. Now it is another day.

I will close to feel wasted. No way out.

  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

to be united to that inexpressible One who is supreme majesty

It is 2:53 PM Thursday afternoon here in West Michigan. The day slowly speeds by. This morning Beth and Carol went shopping for more baby clothes and left me to take care of Louisa. Louisa slept till 9:30 AM and laid in her crib talking to herself till 9:50 AM and then she started crying for someone to come and pick her up. So I picked her up and played with her and walked around the house. She got bored walking around the house so we walked around the house. I showed Lou my wildflowers and the trees. She got bored with that so we came in the house and she wanted a bottle. I gave her a bottle and just about that time Beth and Carol got home from their shopping spree.

I left after lunch to visit some more thrift stores. I found these used books this afternoon to add to our library.

"The Shawl" a novella by Cynthia Ozick

"Berlin Diary: The Journal of a Foreign Correspondent 1934-1941" by William L. Shiver

"The Information" a novel by Martin Amis

"American Psycho" a novel by Bret Easton Ellis

"Summer In Termuren" a novel by Louis Paul Boon [Translated By Paul Vincent]

When I got home from my wanderings I found Carol looking at newspapers and Beth messing with Louisa.

I have nothing else to report so I will close to feel wasted.
  • Current Music
    Indian "The Unquiet Sky"

emitting a stream of word-droplets that reveal the unknown joys of eternal life

It is 8:10 PM Thursday night. I am down in the lower level of our house because it is cool and quiet down here. It is too early to go to bed and I thought one way to keep myself from passing out is to write in my LJ blog. Carol and Bethany are upstairs watching television. I have been mainly reading today when not messing with our baby granddaughter "The Roads To Zion Mourn" by Hugh of Balma.

Due to being wasted I have noticed my brain is not functioning at full speed these days. I can't remember somethings lately like if I have eaten or taken my daily hot shower. Oh well nothing I can do about that but carry on like a good soldier.

Tomorrow morning my wife and I driving south to South Haven Michigan to a big used books sale. I wonder what used books we will find this year at this annual used books sale.

Well I suppose I will close. I took out of my main study a TON of books and brought them down here to gather dust. I plan to read some more of the book "Last Stories and Other Stories" by William T. Vollmann this month.

Well I will close to sit here in the dark waiting to go to bed. Here is a quote from the treatise "The Roads To Zion Mourn" by Hugh of Balma.

"17. Charity is inflamed, made whole, and perfected through this wisdom. For, since the most blessed God himself is a consuming fire (Dt 4:24; Heb 12:29), the more he drives every sort of chill from the wayfarer's spirit, the more she approaches him inwardly through love's outstretching. Because she thus aspires through anagogic movements toward a more intimate union with him, she exposes herself to the consuming rays of the Spiritual Sun and, like a wick exposed to the rays of the sun, is ignited by fire sent from on high.

Hence this sun is said to consume spirits in three ways. First, by itself it increases the spirit's ardor, and by means of ardor cuts out the obstacles to love, so that love might blaze more ardently. This sun then piles on the spiritual favors by which love itself is perfected in the Spiritual Sun. Second, the Spiritual Sun sets the human spirit ablaze to love God himself most ardently. Third, this wisdom fires up the human spirit to love of each of her neighbors as herself and she, in turn, sick with insatiable yearning, does not relent from aspiring to the fullest possible union." pg. 113 Hugh of Balma

  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

push directly for divine and heavenly formation

"30. Come to him and be enlightened, and so forth (Ps 33:6 [34:5]). Since God most blessed inhabits light inaccessible (1 Tim 6:16), as the Apostle Paul says, and since an infinite number of degrees separates every rational creature from him, if the soul is to be bathed by the super-beautiful brilliance of eternal light, she must, as it were, depart from herself and be raised above by the Creator's freely bestowed favor until an approximate similarity and conformity between the creature, who receives, and the benevolent Creator, who flows into her, is established. Therefore the divine prophet says, Come to him and be enlightened, so that this might precede and illumination might immediately follow. With this we fully enter upon the theme of the present book. For, by a roundabout path, contrary to all writers on matters of theology and divinity, it teaches that one attains unmediated cognition of the Creator not by the mirror of creatures nor by genius in research nor by exercise of intellect, but through flaming gasps of unitive love. By these, although living in sin and misery, we have an unfailing foretaste not only of the fact that God is but indeed of how the blessed God himself is the beginning and origin of all beatitude. As we shall see later, this foretaste exceeds the knowledge gained by reason as much as the sun's beauty exceeds that of all other planets and as much as the morning star outshines all the other gleaming stars. Unitive love reveals the hidden things and unlocks secrets. Rather than making the lover pursue earthly and human things, these secrets make him (now raised above himself) push directly for divine and heavenly formation.

31. Because boiling love aspires to union with the Beloved, it more ardently carries the spirit on high so that she might draw close to the source of light, and it alone gives access to the one who dawns from on high, enlightening those that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death(Lk 1:79). Through him things in motion and things known obtain their full and complete perfection, permitting the human spirit to be adorned by her merciful Beloved with the ardor of love and the beauty of light.

Unitive love not only brings the soul to possess the glory of eternal beatitude as she retreats from the body, not only brings her to live the celestial life on earth, not only do lower things no longer make the soul anxious and divert her from her actions stretching toward the heights-more than all that, the yearnings of unitive love leave behind in the soul a perfection of knowledge that is incomparably more complete than any sought out by study, hearing, or exercise of reason." pg. 118, 119 Hugh of Balma

  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative