July 9th, 2014

dead oceans

It is 7:12 AM Wednesday morning in the flow. I got up around 6:05 AM this morning. A weird dream drove me out of bed this morning. So I got up made a pot of coffee and messed with our main computer. I then wrote in my paper diary and now I am writing in my blogs.

I watched this morning on Google Music a documentary on Merge Records (Merge Records was started by band members of Superchunk.), it is this record label's 25th Anniversary. I have bought all of Superchunk's records and also a lot of records released by Merge Records. I have in my music collection 3-set CD "Old Enough To Know Better: 15 Years of Merge Records. I should listen to these 3-set CD today.

I have no plans for the day ahead of me, which is cool with me. I like super quiet days. I like just sitting contemplating the Word of God. There is nothing worth doing or seeing in my book. I died in a car wreck when I was 16 years old December 1968.

The last book I read yesterday was titled, "Austerlitz" a novel by W. G. Sebald. We went to bed early last night. I did not do anything yesterday but read my books and watch birds by our bird feeder. Carol and I did go grocery shopping yesterday evening. Carol wanted to get the specials at the Family Fare grocery store.

There is nothing pressing on my mind this morning. I must admit though I am feeling sick of everything lately. I hate everything these days. Maybe disgust is a better word instead of hate to describe my inner state. A Christian should not hate life or themselves. I want to love living in this world but I often fail. I know feelings/inner states come and go, so I will pray for grace to not surrender to this state despair.

I do find my mind going back into my past these days (My 62th birthday is coming up so I find myself looking over my life.). I can not write about my past because it is not edifying. What does the apostle Paul write in his Epistle to the Philippians, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-mediate on these things" Phil. 4:8.

Well, I will close to listen to music. Existence keeps zooming by! There is no way out.

Merge Records 25th Anniversary movie
https://play.google.com/store/music/collection/promotion_20007c7_vid_merge
  • Current Music
    Califone "Stitches"